All Hail Hillary Finally, a presidential candidate who, if elected, will end the war. How much you want to bet that before long, most all candidates, yes, even the R’s, will be running to get on the end the war bandwagon?

Bad Spuds Not even Idaho can escape corporate crooks. John H. Whittier, majority shareholder and former head of Wood River Capital Management has been indicted on charges of engaging in securities fraud that cost investors a cool $88 million, and that ain’t potatoes.

$180 Million A Day By contrast, Exxon and Shell managed to earn a paltry $180 million per day last year. Don’t begrudge them that though, because in a decade or so, these and their sister petrochemical companies will disappear in a cloud of exhaust as gas guzzling countries rush to embrace alternative fuels, and we won’t have to worry about war in the Middle East.

$86,666.66 Per Second No, not more excessive oil looting but the cost of a Super Bowl ad on CBS. Kevin Federline hasn’t been in such high paid company since getting the big Britney boot.

Score Card – Progress Iraq Casey told the Senate Armed Services Committee that he’d done a good job in Iraq. I hope I’m around when they interview the guy who did a bad job. Washington is gearing up for another week of indecision and in-fighting as senators and congressmen try to figure out what’s going on amid the swirl of American and Iraqi misinformation. One thing is clear: those who want the money machine of war to keep on churning will vote to continue the war. One thing is not clear: where are the responsible senators and congressmen who have the guts to end the war now, not in 12 to 18 months, not in six months, NOW! BRING OUR TROOPS HOME. CONTINUING THIS WAR IS THE ONLY DISASTER.

More Gaps at Gap Another CEO has been ousted as The Gap tries to figure out what business to be in. Selling good quality at a fair price with good service usually works. Of course, they first have to decide to whom they want to sell and then buy several hundred millions of dollars in TV ads to let us know if it’s us.

Boston Bombs As everyone in the world now knows, an advertising stunt for Turner Broadcasting, a Time Warner unit, blew up in everyone’s face this past week as panicky Bostonians were sure they had become targets of a terrorist plot. As it turns out, it was nothing more than a couple of creative types having a bad hair day. Red-faced and apologetic, Turner will pick up the $500,000 plus or minus tab that it cost Boston police to defuse the problem. Cheap, considering the millions in free advertising Turner got, and the admiration it no doubt gained from the millions of 18 to 24 year-olds who are the stunt's target market.

HP VII No not another sordid Hewlett-Packard story, but Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, the seventh and final J.K. Rowling offering in the (fill in adjectives) best selling series due out in July.

The SEC and Pequot This stinks more each time a new page is turned, and it’s beginning to sound like a few very powerful people need to go to jail. Stay tuned to a news source that isn’t beholding to big business for future developments.

Capitalism and Minimum Wages Isn’t it odd that a minimum wage has to be dictated by government? It seems to me that a company that can’t make enough to pay its employees a decent wage ought not to be in business. $7.50, the new minimum wage standard with which our government can’t seem to come to grips, is a $15,000 a year, OK for teenager pocket money, but try raising a family on that paltry sum.

That’s all for this week, my friends. Do what you can to stop the war.!

Happy Schwartzman to You Steven Schwartzman, founder of Blackstone Partners, an early and hugely successful player in the LBO game, is giving himself a sixtieth birthday party in the Park Avenue Armory, the only place in the city capable of holding the 1,500 close friends he’s invited. Rumor: Rod Stewart, who charges a million or so for private parties, is the surprise entertainment. As far as invited guests, we don’t know who’s going, but we do no some of those who are not. Condoleezza Rice, Edward Kennedy, Colin Powell, and Henry Paulson declined. Henry Kravis, long considered the buyout and art patron king whose crown Schwartzman covets, wasn’t invited. Most everyone else who is stunningly famous or stunningly rich received an invitation.

Any Lobbyists? Pfizer is cutting 7,800 people on top of the 2,200 sales reps previously axed. How much do you want to bet it hasn’t reduced the number of lobbyists slipping free Viagra to our lawmakers.

Score Card – Progress Iraq This is depressing. 22,000 more troops. Come on George, stop jerking us around. Tell the truth. We won’t leave Iraq or the Middle East until Exxon and its sisters tell you it’s OK. And Richard the lyin’ hearted this week exceeded even his own heretofore unbridled hubris by stating flat out that it didn’t matter what Congress of The Senate said or did, more troops were going in. (Note to Richard: YES, IT DOES MATTER. And the Democrats should be hoisted on the petard of their own indecision. Not one Democrat has the cojones to demand immediate and total withdrawal. BRING OUR TROOPS HOME. CONTINUING THIS WAR IS THE ONLY DISASTER.

Too Depressing! A medical device with the galactic sounding name of Neurostar TMS designed to reduce depression doesn’t work. There oughta be a law.

Tortured Canadian Appeased? The Canadian government apologized to Maher Arar, a Canadian citizen wrongly detained by American officials and deported to Syria where he was jailed and tortured for ten months, and paid him $9.75 million as compensation. Like a true Canadian, Arer said he valued the apology more than the money. As far as the United States is concerned, it continues to keep Arer on its terrorist watch list and refuses to allow him into the country.

Still Irked Bob Ney, ex congressman from Ohio is off to prison for thirty months for selling his office to black Jack Abramhoff, the crook lobbyist, BUT HE WILL GET HIS PENSION. Let’s see how this works: get elected, get drunk and party and take bribes, get caught, go to prison, draw a pension.

Passport Poop United States, Canadian, and some Caribbean citizens now need a passport to get into or return to the United States. Mexicans can continue to sneak across the border. The rules for terrorists haven’t been spelled out.

What’s Wrong With This Statement? The Justice Department has issued subpoenas to at least four Wall Street investment banks as part of a widening investigation into the multi-billion-dollar online gambling industry. Isn’t Wall Street the biggest poker game in town?

It’s My Insula So you quit smoking 25 years ago and still have the craving, blame your insula, a tiny part of your brain (isn’t it always) that scientists now believe is responsible for certain addictive traits. Before you flush the nicotine gum and patches, though, what they haven’t figured out is how to make adjustments short of a peen to the bean.

No Money Honey Funny Stuff Any attempt to suggest Maria Bartiromo, one of the finest financial reporters on TV, is in bed with CitiCorp or any other company that she covers is absurd. What possible difference can it make if she accepts an occasional, completely above-board lift home on a private jet, other than she might find out something juicy that we want to know? She would tell us, wouldn’t she?

Libby Lobs Betrayal Bomb Are attorneys for Lewis I. Libby, Darth Dick’s former chief of staff, suggesting that this administration is going to let Libby take the fall to protect Carl Rove, Prince George’s political advisor? Betrayal and untruths by this administration, hard to believe. And remind me again why Carl Rove is important?

Rams Ramming Rams Scientists have been trying to figure out why some rams prefer rams and what makes them that way. I could have had them call my Scottish ancestors for their answer, but hey, I’m still wondering where virgin wool comes from.

That’s all for this week, my friends. Do what you can to stop the war.!

Don’t Fence Me In Rather than build a fence along the US/Mexico border (a really dumb idea) why not build a fence around Washington, DC?

Bank Robbers Now it seems the Pentagon and CIA, in addition to the FBI, are secretly taking ‘suspicious’ citizens’ bank records and storing them in a giant, anti-terrorist data base. So much for the ‘liberty’ part.

Score Card – Progress Iraq Lieberman (IND - CT) says the Middle East will implode if the US leaves Iraq before Iraq is stabilized, and that would be a disaster. True, but it is not our disaster, it is theirs. To suggest otherwise is to suggest they aren’t capable of reaching independent decisions. And to suggest the terrorists will follow us home is nothing more than an attempt to incite irrational fear and suggest our military incapable of defending its homeland. This administration seems hell bent for election to have us believe that troop withdrawal from Iraq is somehow a military defeat. It is an administration defeat. Our military has won its war.

100 Hours? Wouldn’t it have been really great if the Democrats 100 hour clock contained the same hours as our Iraqi troop’s clock? Wouldn’t it have been really great if the Democrats ended the war within their first 100 hours? Wouldn’t it have been really great if the Democrats hadn’t stopped making us believe they were going to make a difference within their first 100 hours?

XXX Pentagon vs ABA Charles D. Stimson, the deputy assistant secretary of defense for detainee affairs, said in an interview this week that he was dismayed that lawyers at many of the nation’s top firms were representing prisoners at Guantánamo Bay, Cuba, and that the firms’ corporate clients should consider ending their business ties. The legal community, as well they should have, let out an uproar. Shame on Stimson for this treacherous disregard of American values; he should be fired. Write your representative http://www.house.gov/house/MemberWWW.shtml and senator http://www.senate.gov/ and express your outrage.

That’s all for this week, my friends. God speed and safe home for ALL troops!

Washington, District of Camelot? King George calling for bipartisanship is like a captured brigand calling for plank abolishment, but yet there he was, the sandlot bully, urging the new kids in town to play nice.

And Speaking of Camelot – Robert Goulet, who famously sang the role of Lancelot on Broadway opposite Richard Burton’s King Arthur and Julie Andrews’s Guenevere, will sing the praises of Emerald Nuts in a $2.6 million thirty-second spot during Super Bowl XLI. Singing a nut’s virtue hardly seems a fitting task for the best ‘C’est moi’ declarer of them all.

Score Card – Progress Iraq: 3,006 American troop casualties, 22,057 American troops wounded. Bush names new top Iraq commander and others who favor a troop surge in Baghdad and banishing to cushy desk jobs and ongoing big bucks those who don’t, all in advance of his loooong awaited Iraq policy. If Bush’s policy is anything other than an immediate and full withdrawal (and with air and sea maneuvers anticipating a new ground thrust already underway, only a fool would so opine), it is yet another betrayal of we, the mushrooms.

More Shifting Sands: John Negroponte to Rice’s deputy at State, Mike McConnell replaces Negroponte as Director of National Intelligence. Conclusion: giant icebergs can’t be seen from executive deck chairs.

Give Me A P! Nancy Pelosi was sworn in as the first woman Speaker of the House—and third in line to the throne—as the 110th Congress began its proscribed two-year term January 4, 2007. Like everyone else, except a few dour Republicans and conservative Democrats and misogynists, I cheered for a full minute then began to wonder how many of our newly elected representatives will end up lying and cheating and stealing their way into jail and disgrace. Please God, forgive me my daily skepticism and deliver them from evil. Amen. P. S. We have to find a term of address other than Gentlewoman from California. How about Gracious Lady from California?

Not Fruit Flies: But Gadflies, those buzzing little buggers that corporate executives have been swatting at for years, and it seems they’re finally getting their due; directors are beginning to listen, let’s hope they hear.

@%#&*@%#&! Or in Eli Lilly’s terms, Zyprexa, its bipolar and schizophrenia drug that gave a lot of users diabetes and other health problems. So far, Lilly has paid $1.2 billion to 28,500 injured users; 1,200 suits remain.

Not So Corny! According to Renewable Fuels Association, as of 12/29/2006 there were 110 U.S. ethanol biorefineries producing 5 billion gallons of fuel with another 73 under construction and 8 expansions that combined will produce 6 billion gallons more, or about a one month supply for the current appetites of America’s motor vehicles. And just how much corn will it take to feed these refineries? According to some estimates, 139 million tons, or over half of 2008’s expected 11 billion bushel harvest; expect to pay a lot more for all those prized ears sloshed with butter.

No Surprise Here. Two major law firms, New York’s Dewey Ballantine and San Francisco’s Orrick, Herrington & Sutcliffe, called off their merger citing irreconcilable differences or some such excuse. My guess: too many lawyers.

2008 Presidential Election Handicap * DECLARED CANDIDATES Ranking Name Party 3 Edwards, John – Former Senator, North Carolina, and VP candidate– declared 12/27/06 in New Orleans, LA D 2 Kucinich, Dennis John - Democratic member of the U. S. House of Representatives – declared 12/12/06 in Cleveland, OH D 2 Vilsack, Tom – Governor, Iowa – declared 11/30/06 in Mount Pleasant, IA D 2 Hunter, Duncan - Republican member of the U. S. House of Representatives – declared 10/30/06 in San Diego, CA R UNDECLARED CANDIDATES Ranking Name Party 6 Obama, Barack – Senator, Illinois D 5 Clinton , Hillary Rodham – Senator, New York D 3 Biden, Joe – Senator, Pennsylvania D 3 Richardson, Bill – Governor, New Mexico D 4 McCain, John - Senator, Arizona R 4 Romney, Mitt - Former Governor, Massachusetts R 2 Brownback, Sam – Senator, Kansas R 2 Gingrich, Newt - Former House Speaker, Georgia R 2 Giuliani, Rudy - Former NYC Mayor R 2 Rice, Condoleeza - Secretary of State R 2 Thompson, Tommy – Former Governor, Wisconsin R 1 Pataki, George – Governor, New York R . 1 Delusional - 10 Yes! Yes! Yes! Note: These rankings have nothing to do with official polls or rankings. They are mine and mine alone.

That’s all for this week, my friends. Keep the fath!

Score Card – Progress Iraq: -0 Remember the Iraq Study Group Report presented to the world December 6th? Since then, while W fiddles and Baghdad burns, countless Iraqis and Americans have been killed; American oil companies earned another $1.8 billion; 210,000 Iraqis who can afford the price have emigrated.

Iraq 101 – Some Questions When W “wins,” what will the terrorists do? Will they lay down their arms and say, “Good job, well done America, you win.” Will they stop killing each other because they know America “won” fair and square? When W “wins,” where will the terrorists go? Will they remain in Iraq and return to their jobs as janitors and teachers and lawyers? Are Bush and Cheney unwitting or even willing pawns of Saudi Arabia? Did the Saudis convince Bush that Saddam was a threat to Saudi oil? Did Bush go too far by removing the Sunnis from power? Is that why the Saudis, also Sunni Muslims, read the riot act to Cheney last week? Is that why the Saudis told America that they would back the Sunnis if America pulled out? Do McCain and Lieberman and other neocon war hawks seriously believe that Americans are going to support more troops for this war that started as a huge lie and continues as a lie so huge that if Bush were Pinocchio his nose would reach from Washington to Baghdad?

Yanqi, Si; With the cost of the Iraq war at $350 billion and increasing about $100,000 a minute, it seems odd that Homeland Security Department, citing lack of funds, is abandoning its face and fingerprint program for making sure visitors leave the US when they’re supposed to. Isn’t ‘people overstaying their welcome’ how this madness got started?

Meanwhile, Back at OPEC, it’s nice to know our ‘friends’ in the Middle East are reducing production to keep the price of oil from falling. I mean, haven’t they got enough of our money already?

And in case you were worried about the investment banks, Goldman Sachs racked up $35 billion in profits, which means a few $50 million bonuses for the rainmakers. Let’s see, with the Federal Minimum wage @ $5.15 per hour, it will take some poor working stiff 4,667 ½ years to make $50 million. If you make slightly more than the minimum wage, say a paltry quarter million per annum, you will have to work a mere 200 years.

Oh Crap! Peter Boyle, 1935-2006

Corporate/Government Crooks Update 1. Could the Interior Department’s Mineral Management Service be the next Enron-sized scandal? As of now, we have the Justice Department’s Public Integrity Section, which examines suspected criminal violations by federal employees, and the inspector general with the help of the FBI, looking into ineptitude, conflicts of interest and auditing oil and gas royalty payments. We’re talking billions baby, billions that we the people have to pay because the oil and gas companies, the ones making record profits off our backs, are screwing Uncle Sam, probably with Uncle Sam’s help.

That’s all for this week, my friends. Stay alert; don’t get uh, twisted!

Score Card – Progress Iraq: 0. Too many words, no action. No leadership from Bush. No leadership from Democrats. This mess remains stuck in neutral. Who has the guts to stand up and say, “That’s it! It’s over. We’re coming home.”

Google Time Warner? With its stock through the roof at $500 plus and the 14th largest market cap of all corporations in the U.S., it’s time for Google to buy a major corporation. Can a Google Time Warner be far away?

Darth Dick & The King: In less time than it takes to shoot off his friend’s face, Cheney bops off to Saudi Arabia for afternoon tea with fellow oil mogul, King Abdullah, to figure out how to not loose the war in Iraq: read keep the Iranians and Syrians the hell out of Baghdad. Also read: if Halliburton’s stock tanks as a result of taking a big hit in Iraq, DD’s pension plan will be in the toilet.

Benedict 16. Pope Benny’s trip to Turkey this week is not a battle of Christianity versus Islam; that would be George W. Christ’s misguided mission. Pope Benny merely wants to recapture Orthodox Catholics that have been separated from mother church for a millennium or so. The Muslims, however, fear Benny might also try to reclaim hallowed Muslim ground for Catholicism and are making a lot of noise because of this and a few Muhammad nasties Benny let fly back in IX/MMVI.

Hermitage vs. Gazprom No contest. The Kremlin’s Gazprom wins. Gazrpom, Russia’s oil monopoly and fourth largest company in the world with a market capitalization of $250 billion, wants to build a string of palaces, er, office buildings, in St. Petersburg that will be three times higher than The Hermitage, the home of Russia’s last monarch. St. Petersburg has a zoning law capping all buildings at 157 feet. Nyet problemas, says Gazprom, we’ll change the bylaw. Can you imagine living is a society with a cavalier government and its agencies displaying such a callous disregard for established rules and regulations?

PC, MAC, or Antikythera? Scientists are restudying some seriously gunked up gears, cog wheels, and related pins and pieces discovered a hundred years ago by archaeologists poking around in a sunken Roman ship. There is an accepted hypothesis that these cogs wheels, gears, and pins housed in a rectangular wooden frame with two doors covered in instructions for its use, known as the Antikythera Mechanism, constitute a computer-like device constructed as early as 100-150 BC and used by the Greeks and Romans to display astronomical cycles, planetary info and as a nautical device. An operating manual and toll-free number have not been found.

Civil War? If the last American soldier left Iraq on Friday and civil war broke out on Saturday, would we send our troops barreling back to Baghdad? Do those dying in Iraq care what the punditss decide to call their war? Civil War: oxymoronic or moronic?

Paulson Poison! Under the guise of improving their international competitive position, Treasury Secretary Henry M. Paulson, Jr. wants to rewrite rules protecting American companies from lawsuits and a host of other evils stacked upon their brittle bones by wicked consumers, i.e., we the people, by creating an impenetrable legal curtain behind which companies can hide. Example: Besides doing cost-benefit studies before adopting new rules, the SEC would have to shield corporate directors from investor lawsuits. If Paulson is really interested in the competitive position of American companies, he might start by taking a hard look at executive pay run amok.

The Finger! Bad enough they want to empty our wallets, now they’re reaching up and taking it right out of our butts. Urologists, the rubber finger people, have a new treatment called I.M.R.T. for intensity modulated radiation therapy that, while effective, may be more profit driven than treatment driven; at upwards of $50,000, I.M.R.T. costs several times more than currently existing treatments.

Polish Joke, er, Fact! Polonium 210, the radioactive chemical element that killed former Russian KGB spy Alexander Litvinenk and sits at the center of a growing international scandal, was discovered in pitchblende in 1898 by Marie Curie and named for her native country, Poland. Just so you know, there is also polonium 208 and 209.

2008 Presidential Election Handicap * Ranking Name Party 6 Obama, Barack – Senator, Illinois D 5 Clinton , Hillary Rodham – Senator, New York D 4 Edwards, John – Senator, North Carolina D 4 McCain, John - Senator, Arizona R 4 Romney, Mitt - Former Governor, Massachusetts R 3 Biden, Joe – Senator, Pennsylvania D 3 Richardson, Bill – Governor, New Mexico D 2 Brownback, Sam – Senator, Kansas R 2 Gingrich, Newt - Former House Speaker, Georgia R 2 Giuliani, Rudy - Former NYC Mayor R 2 Rice, Condoleeza - Secretary of State R 2 Thompson, Tommy – Former Governor, Wisconsin R 2 Vilsack, Tom – Governor, Iowa D 1 Frist, Bill – Senator, Tennessee R 1 Hunter, Duncan - Representative, California R 1 Pataki, George – Governor, New York R * Based on Extra Wry’s scale and opinions, which change moment by moment. 1 Delusional; 2 Dreaming; 3 Teasing; 4 Embracing;5 Heavy Breathing; 6 Touching; 7 Petting; 8 Tasting tongue; 9 Groaning; 10 Yes! Yes! Yes!

That’s all for this week, my friends. Stay alert; don’t get uh, twisted!

Juice?: Is O.J. Simpson trying to make as big a fool of Judith Regan as he did of the criminal justice system? In his ghost-written book, ‘If I Did It,’ being published by Harper Collins imprint Regan Books headed up by Judith Regan, does O.J. confess, as Judith Regan contends, or is he taking Harper Collins and the reading and viewing public (Fox is broadcasting Regan’s interview of O.J. on November 27th and November 29th) on another ride, not to mention what it does to the Goldman and Brown families and Simpson’s two children.

Corporate Crook Update: Jacob Alexander, former CEO of Converse Technology who fled to Namibia after being charged with options fraud will find out next April if Namibia wants to keep him, likely based on how much money they can shake out of his pockets, or will ship him back to the U.S., likely based on how much the U.S. will pay to have his sorry ass shipped home to face the music. Why does it take six months to decide this? I mean, how lengthy is Namibia’s docket for crooks avoiding extradition? No RIP! Ken Lay of Enron shame died four months ago and the criminal claim against his estate was astutely set aside by the courts on the basis that he couldn’t defend himself. Now, a bipartisan bill is being promoted by two U.S. congressmen that may end Kenny boy’s RIP, or at least that of his surviving family who face sizeable asset seizures. Disbarred! Jay I. Gordon, a former senior partner of politically connected Greenberg Traurig, one of the nation’s largest law firms, resigns from the New York Bar for taking kickbacks for steering clients to questionable tax shelters. There is more to this than meets the sty. Stay tuned.

Executives, We Don’t Need No Executives! Borrowing from a line from ‘The Treasure of the Sierra Madre’ and confirming something all working stiffs have known since the beginning of the Industrial Revolution, a corporation (Hewlett-Packard), despite its corporate executive suite being in total disarray, posted sharply increased revenue and made more profit on that revenue.

Chinese Checkers: Through sanctions, the world has been trying for ten years to get the South East Asian country of Myanmar’s oppressive government to care for its citizens, but big neighbor China’s insatiable appetite for Myanmar’s oil ended all that. Isn’t it odd that while China thumbs its nose at world efforts to civilize one of the most oppressive places on earth, U.S. and other western interests are queuing up to invest in China?

Lott’s Lot: Trent Lott, who, four years ago noted that his home state of Mississippi had supported segregationist Strom Thurmond’s 1948 presidential bid and added, “We’re proud of it. And if the rest of the country had followed our lead, we wouldn’t have all these problems.” rather than being disgraced and kicked out of politics, has been elected minority whip, the Republican’s second-ranking Senate leadership position. Just how stupid do they think we are?

Job Iraq? What is our ‘job’ in Iraq? Are we interfering in Iraq’s right to self-government, whatever that is? Are we the Brits and the French of 1776 America? Are we supporting one side against the other in a civil war? Are we fighting for the sole benefit of American Oil companies? What does W mean when he says “We won’t win if we quit.”?

Deep in the Heart of…Toyota? It’s official. Tundra, Toyota’s big red-neck pickup truck, will roll out of a new $1.2 billion plan in Texas. Will W be its pitchman like Dole and Viagra? In fact, how much did Texas W being president result in the plant being located in the Lone Star Sate?

Dogfight! US Air might not know how to run an airline, but it knows how to make a scene. Emerging only last year from its second bankruptcy in the past four years, US Air is now going to try to acquire bankruptcy court-protected Delta Airlines for $8 billion. But wait, what’s this: US Air might make a profit this year? Rarefied air indeed. Maybe US Air does know how to run an airline. Will we finally have an airline worthy of the flag? Air US anyone?

Dell Decked? The G-Men are getting serious about Dell’s accounting practices. Dell announced this week that the SEC has started a formal investigation. Dell will delay release of its financial results from Wednesday until the end of this month but refused to release details to investors about what attracted the feds. What about we, the customers? Are we invisible here? Maybe its time to buy a non-Dell.

Lobocratics? As Republican lobbyists head out of Dodge, Democratic lobbyists are riding in; hard, sweating and frothing. Please, if there is a God, anyone’s God, let the buying of our leaders cease, and reveal the boot hill that awaits those who fail us.

2008 Presidential Election Handicap Republicans R Democrats R Former NY Mayor Rudy Giuliani 2 Sen Hillary Rodham Clinton of New York 6 Rep. Duncan Hunter of California 0 Barack Obama 6 Sen. John McCain of Arizona 4 Senator Joe Biden from Pennsylvania 2 Condoleeza Rice, Secretary of State 3 Gov. Tom Vilsack of Iowa 2 Tommy Thompson, a former Wisconsin gov 1 Sen John Edwards of North Carolina and former VP candidate 3 Former gov Mitt Romney of Massachusetts 4 Gov Bill Richardson of New Mexico 1 Former gov George Pataki of New York 0 Outgoing Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist of Tennessee 0 Sen. Sam Brownback of Kansas ? Former House Speaker Newt Gingrich of Georgia 1 0 = Delusional, 1 = Faking It, 2 = Ego Trip, 3 = Money Pit, 4 = Early Withdrawal, 5 = Ultimate Defeat, 6 = Heavy Breathing

That’s all for this week, my friends. Stay alert; don’t get uh, twisted!