Weekly Quiz What product was once sold on Longevity Lane in Liuzhou, China? (Answer at bottom)

Passing Gas Here’s the problem: right now, the senate and congress are full of gas so there’s all this farting going on. So the Senate hauls these five really rich guys in and wants to know why they’re getting richer and the rest of the country is getting poorer and the really rich guys who are going to die rich and therefore don’t really care what the Senate thinks pretty much gave them the finger. Alas, none of the poor people who have given up food and other luxuries in order to buy gasoline and home heating fuels were in the room—they were sitting around wondering when the Senate and their other so-called elected representatives were going to get smart enough to free themselves from the clutches of the five wicked and ugly stepsisters and all their wonderful PAC money and aggressively and intelligently promote the development of alternative fuels. Alas, alas, once our dearly elected representatives pass gas and their stomach pain subsides, they’ll forget all about excessive oil company profits and constituents freezing their asses off in stalled SUV’s until the old gas pain comes back. Then the farting starts all over again.

Crackberry Pie The hundreds of thousands of Blackberry users in the U.S. may have to thumb something else if Research In Motion (RIM) in Waterloo, Ontario and NTP in Arlington, VA can’t reach agreement on the three-year-old patent infringement suit lodged by NTP. Doesn’t RIM realize that the CIA is based in Arlington? It seems shareholders are milling about the exits, but haven’t hit the panic bar: @ $78, the stock is $16 above its 52 week low, though down from $128, its 52 week high. I don’t know how much of an unfavorable NTP ruling is factored into the $78, but its my guess everyone still holding expects an equitable settlement.

Questions of the Week
1. What is the personal cost to me, my friends, and my neighbors if the world negotiates a meaningful, global trade agreement next month in Hong Kong?
2. How old will your grandchildren or great grandchildren be when tax reform becomes a reality?

What In Hall Is Going On At Halliburton Every time I turn around, Halliburton is getting its knuckles wrapped for some misdeed, the latest being improperly charging worker pension plans with executive pension and bonus plans. I think it’s a company run by crooks and gangsters who don’t give a damn about we, the people. Oh, isn’t Halliburton where VP Cheney used to be CEO? Yes, I believe it is.

Immy’s And the award this year goes to sixteen-year-old Mary Sue for baring her breasts the most times in one week and iCasting her accomplishment to iPod users around the world. NATAS, the Emmy people, has created a category for original video content for computers, cellphones and other handhelds like iPod.

I Say Nothing This from the NY Times in a November 8th article about Wall Street bonuses : The big winners could be traders involved in commodities and energy, in particular, proprietary traders who deal in those two high-octane growth areas. They could receive pay increases of 40 percent to 50 percent, with some walking away with $15 million to $20 million each, according to one investment banking executive who is prohibited from commenting on compensation issues. Just so you don’t feel too badly about your Christmas turkey, you’ll be heartened to know that the mid-level schlubs will only get $1.2 million to $1.8 million. How do they live?

Corporate Crook Update
1. You gotta love this guy: Richard (I think we should call him Jesus) Scrushy. Turns out his son-in-law, Michael Plaia, married to daughter Christa (had he been a son, would his name be Christ?), invested $3 mil in a cable station in Birmingham while Richie boy was on trial there for laundering, conspiracy and securities fraud so Richie and frau Leslie could host a religious TV show to the good jurors in Bible belt Birmingham. Guess what? Son-in-law Mikie has done it again. He’s acquired a cable TV station in Montgomery where Richie boy is being charged with bribing a former governor of Alabama. How much you want to bet that Richie and frau Leslie will soon be hosting a reprise of their Birmingham program so the good jurors from the Montgomery pool will know what a grand Christian he really is. He’s already taken three men of the cloth to court to pray with him and frau out in front of the courtroom after he pled not guilty. Maybe he is Jesus. It’s for sure a miracle he’s not pounding rocks.

Judy, Judy, Judy Cary Grant never said it, but the Gray Lady did, giving Judith Miller of 85 days in the slammer fame the boot after 28 years of Times toil. Judy says she needs some quiet time after her ordeal, which will apparently be spent in the solitude of the lecture circuit. Will we ever get to the bottom of the Libby/Miller relationship? How deep does it go?

Our Friends in Washington Update
1. Scooter Libby has started a legal defense fund. I wonder if he’s assigning future book royalties to secure repayment.

Evolution Evolves The Intelligent Design octet in Dover, PA got the heave-ho by the voters. Skirmishes got nasty and there may be some over-the-shoulder glancing, but so far no one has been killed. Praise the uh, Darwin.

Corporate Speak Answer: “Forgetting the business logic and the price, there will be options down the road there, I would answer your question about capable and that we weren’t really quite capable yet because our army was doing all the other stuff we had to do, particularly the systems conversions. “The army will be capable to do other stuff sometime next year, which is reasonable. Doesn’t mean we will.” What was the question? Question: Does J.P. Morgan Chase have plans for a potential merger? Responder: James Dimon, chief executive-designate. Ah, that’s the problem: he’s only the CEO-designate.

Non-Surprise Of The Week Blockbuster loses $491 million in its third quarter. CEO Antioco says Blockbuster will cut costs and become more dominant as the industry consolidates. Does that mean bigger losses? Not much logic need be expended to realize these guys are riding a dinosaur.

Greedy Bastards Update
1. In 2003, indicted power lobbyist fast Jack Abramoff, Tom DeLay’s good friend, wanted leading human rights abuser Gabon to pay him $9 million to set up a meeting with W. In what the White House describes as a routine meeting and nothing to do with Abramoff, Bongo, President of Gabon, met with W in 2004, ten months after fast Jack’s pitch. Odd that one of fast Jack’s accounts, the one to which Gabon was directed to pay the $9 mil, had millions in cash flow right around that time.

Not Too Corny About $22.7 billion is the projected corn subsidy for 2005, up from $13.3 billion in 2004. Let’s see, at $4 a bag for movie popcorn, that’s equal to 5.7 billion bags. There’s the problem: we’re not eating enough movie popcorn so cut out the farm subsidy and give it to the movie goers so they can buy more popcorn.

Weekly Quiz Answer Cedar coffins, the sale of which is now banned in this city.

WE REMEMBER, LEST WE FORGET

In Flanders Fields
By: Lieutenant Colonel John McCrae, MD (1872-1918)
Canadian Army

IN FLANDERS FIELDS the poppies blow
Between the crosses row on row,
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.

We are the Dead. Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved and were loved, and now we lie
In Flanders fields.

Take up our quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders fields.

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