Leaky Boat? China may have floated the Yuan, but the good people at The Bank of China aren’t about to fill the tub.
Questions of the Week
1. Do you ever get the feeling that Earth is one of the Creator’s earlier attempts?
2. Would we feel better if Supreme Court nominee John Roberts was a black Latino woman?
3. Why don’t Rove and Libby resign?
Weekly Citizens’ Award To J. K. Rowling and Harry Potter.
Weekly Wimp Award Sadly, to our Pres for not kicking a whole lot of ass on the Plame affair.
Weekly Chutzpah Award To Merck, the Vioxx people, for creating an in-house training game for Vioxx sales reps dubbed Dodge Ball in which reps could only win by providing Merck approved answers to possible doctors’ questions about the drug’s safety or by dodging such questions all together. Merck countered by noting that participants couldn’t win by dodging all the questions. Oh.
Weekly Lottery Award To financial consultant Hydie Sumner for successfully suing Merrill Lynch for $2.2 Million in a sex discrimination case then demanding through arbitration that she be rehired at a higher level. She won that also. Apparently she always wanted to work at the ‘Bullshit on America’ firm and pointed out that she brings improved negotiation skills to the table. Amen to that, sister bull. Well done!
Gee, Sure You Can Afford It? The oil industry agreed to pony up $2 billion to clean up its MTBE mess provided it receives protection from dozens of ‘fouled groundwater’ lawsuits. Harmed municipalities put the cost closer to $20 billion. That totally non-partisan group known as the American Petroleum Institute estimates the cost at closer to $1.5 billion. FYI, Exxon Mobil alone earned $25 billion in 2004.
Truth, Justice, and the Wal-Mart Way In documents released last week in connection with a former employer’s whistle-blowing lawsuit, Wal-Mart, the kindler, gentler people, called Jared Bowen “a liar, a thief and a fraud.” This from the company whose Number One basic, founding belief is respect for the individual. Wal-Mart said he was fired because he abetted the fraud he reported, not because of whistle-blowing, and a Wal-Mart spokeswoman said, “We defend our reputation by simply disclosing the truth about Mr. Bowen’s termination.”
Broken Heart? Guidant, the pacemaker people, might have to replace some of the 28,000 older model pacemakers still implanted in people because a degrading seal (O-Ring?) problem might cause failure leading to serious health complications. Gee, you think? And where are those that aren’t still implanted in people?
I Can See! I Can See! In a study, Genetech’s experimental drug, Lucentis, has restored patients’ vision by an average of seven letters on a standard eye chart. Now all they have to do is cross-market to all those smiling, horny Viagra users who, as a consequence of their never-ending pursuit of EF (Erectile Function), can’t even see the chart.
Where’s The Beef? Mooing on south, it seems. Canadian cows that get their passports in order will start crossing the border as early as next week.
