SOB, it seems, is a multi-use acronym. First, it can be used to describe ‘Sons of Bosses’ tax shelters that were, until 2000, aggressively peddled to high rollers by financial advisers like PriceWaterhouseCoopers and KPMG (remember Arthur Anderson?) until the IRS held its nose and told everyone involved to stop stinking up the joint. Second, to describe their financial advisers, it can be used by the high rollers who have to pay the $3.2 billion in taxes and penalties because of the SOB the SOB’s got them into. Third, to describe everyone richer and their advisers, it can be used by us, the tax-paying poor, usually along with ‘Serves the bastards right.’
OK, now it’s getting personal. Bad enough that a few unnamed high rollers try to take Uncle Sam for a big ride, but when our popcorn and meatballs and sloppy joe’s decide to get in on the act, that’s where we draw the line. Con-Agra, owner of ACT II popcorn, Chef Boyardee, Manwich and a lot of other stuff we cram into our gaping mugs, made one of those #@*%!&%@# errors that will cause it to restate fiscal 2004 and first-half of fiscal 2005 earnings because OOOPS, it made a $200 million income tax error. Don’t you think a company that wants us to trust it enough to buy its stuff, no questions asked, at least owes us a comment or two? Oh, and let’s not forget the $200 million.
International currency exchange guru and multi-billionaire, Hungarian-born George Soros, got nicked by those pesky Napoleonic French for 2.2 million euros (that’s like a cent—make that a yen—to Soros) for insider trading. Question: can anyone ever, who is as well connected as the preeminent money-king George, buy stock without insider knowledge? Answer: NO! So the real question is: Whom in France did Soros, uh, irk?
Speaking of yen, Softbank and Livedoor are passionately courting Fuji TV Network (Fuji) in a plot that would reduce Stella from Streetcar to a mere chick on a NYC bus. To get 14.67% of Fuji, Softbank borrowed Fuji shares from Nippon Broadcasting, Fuji’s largest shareholder, while Livedoor was surreptitiously buying Nippon Broadcasting shares to gain control of the same Fuji shares. Translation: While Livedoor wines and dines old man Nippon, Softbank makes off with the daughter in the old man’s car. I think I’ll put my money on Softbank.
Is nothing sacred? Prince Eliot has his nose up Jester Don Imus’s butt for WSJ reported allegations (vigorously denied by Imus who called the reporter a punk and a liar in typical tactful Imus-ese) of lax financial controls at and personal use of his charity ranch for critically ill children. I believe anyone who sings ‘I don’t care if it rains or freezes as long as I got my plastic Jesus riding on the dashboard of my car…,’ as Jester Imus has on his NBC morning radio show, ought to be ‘probe’ immune. Like Soros, you gotta ask: whom did Imus, uh, irk?
We are sad for you, Terry Schiavo. When the madness stops, your voice will be heard.
