Islamic Law of Investment Take all the infidels’ money, use that money to invest in (buy) their companies. It seems Middle-Eastern investors are flush with cash—what a surprise, and are plopping down a billion here and a billion there for shares in publicly traded companies. How is that different from any other investment company? Oh, I forgot. The Middle-Easterners all the money.
Et tu Katrina? Bad enough we had to deal with the oil giants. What price gas?
Weekly Wimp Award To Bush, the befuddled, and all the other non-leaders in D.C. who didn’t get off their asses and put heavy duty assets to work in New Orleans. If a million residents of the Big Easy could pull up stakes and leave livelihoods and homes behind, surely the government could have responded in kind with a thousand helicopters, ten thousand troops, and scores of amphibious vehicles, barges, and whatever else it takes to provide a dignified, safe existence to those left behind.
Weekly Broken Finger Award KPMG put its middle finger, the one it had been giving the IRS for a number of years, back in its grovel pocket and shelled out $456 million to keep Uncle Sam from putting a padlock on the door. Some former partners are being thrown to the wolves and will face criminal charges. Some years ago, when Manufacturers Hanover was a bank, its annual report, one of the really expensive glossies, referred to its Certified “Pubic” Accountants. Maybe they weren’t far off.
Vene, Vidi, Ipod Apple and Motorola are sticking a bunch of technology together that will result in an IPod cellphone. Think of the vast array of personalized rings in existence today and multiply by a billion or two and think of the vast array of people yakking on cellphones when you wish they wouldn’t and multiply by a billion or two. ICry.
Follow The Bouncing Ball
1. In Hong Kong, Robert Kissel, a senior Merrill Lynch investment banker gets whacked by Nancy Ann, his society wife, who bashes his head in with a lead ornament and sticks him in moving boxes; she pleads self defense, something about a baseball bat, but that doesn’t fly and she’s found guilty.
2. Their three children are deposited with the husband’s brother, Andrew, in New York, a real estate wheeler-dealer who is being prosecuted for multi-million dollar real estate fraud. He claims stress from his brother’s murder and sister-in-law’s trial. How many times have we heard that one? P.S. Robert’s estate is worth $18 million. How close did Andrew come to getting his mitts on the kids money?
3. Hayley Wolff, society wife of Andrew, says I’m out and files for divorce.
4. P.S. It seems Nancy Ann had a go with the stereo repair man while vacationing in Vermont, and I didn’t even know they had stereo in Vermont.
Blue Bayou? No not Roy Orbison, but Bayou investments. Why did it have to pick this week to hit the papers with its multi-million dollar fraud. Like Louisiana didn’t have enough trouble of its own. It seems Sammy Israel III, sole owner of Bayou, dicked off with a bunch of his investors’ money. I’m so happy to see my bank, JP Morgan Chase, listed as one of the investors.
Chinese Puzzle Q: What did KL, a Palm Beach-based hedge fund lose besides $81 million of investors’ money. A: It seems it has also lost its owners, Won Sok Lee and Yung Bae Kim, who have taken a powder. They didn’t even have the courtesy of hiring an American lawyer or any other lawyer to tell us all how Messrs Lee and Kim will be fully exonerated once the truth comes out in the courts.
IPodre Reverend Mark Batterson (yeah, Batterson, not Patterson—I thought it a peculiar name for a pastor too) of National Community Church, podcasts (the good reverend calls them Godcasts, what else?) his sermons so the good Christian sinners among his flock who would sooner do a Sunday morning eighteen holer, won’t miss the word of God. Soon, not even snoring will keep the pastors company as they deliver their pulpit pith.
Irony of the Week. I see The Forty-Year-Old Virgin has sold over $50 million in movie tickets proving once again that fantasy sells.
Bing and Bogey The two worms responsible for the Zotob worm that crippled a host of big computers came from Morocco (remember Bogey in Casablanca) and Turkey (remember Bing singing "It's Istanbul, Mot Constantinople?"
