Bagged! Do you purchase foods that say HEALTHY? Hannaford Brothers, a New England grocery chain that sells a lot of ‘healthy’ foods decided to ask the question: Just how healthy is this crap? So it invented its own ‘healthy’ rating system: no star to three stars and plugged in 27,000 of its shelf items. Result: 77% received no stars; most fruits and veggies received three stars as did salmon and Post grape nuts cereal. No comment on bagged spinach.
Ortega, Si! Republicans, No! Ironic that Manuela Ortega, old Marxist enemy of the US and friend of Venezuela’s Chavez, gets elected president of Nicaragua while a lot of W’s boys and girls get the boot.
Saddam Won’t Swing? Doubly ironic if Saddam avoids the death penalty, as a number of European countries demand, while American citizens are commonly sent to the gas chamber.
HedgeHOG Funds? Question: Do hedge funds that short stocks disseminate misleading information on companies for the purpose of driving stock prices down? Maybe, maybe not. Question #2: Are the companies whose stock is being driven down victims or are they looking for a scapegoat? Maybe, maybe not. Moral: There are a lot of shady characters dicking with stock prices – Caveat Emptor!
A Won Won Situation! Now that it has received an offer for $7 billion for 70%, Lee Kang-won, former head of Korean Exchange Bank has been arrested for falsifying the bank’s records, showing it to be in worse condition than reality resulting in a lower price for Lone Star Funds, which three short years ago acquired a 50% stake in the bank for $1.3 billion (1.4 trillion won). Other bank and government officials are targeted, and Dallas-based Lone Star, which stands to pocket $2 billion and record another $1.5 billion in paper profits, might get dragged into the fray kicking and screaming its innocence. Question: Did Lone Star collude with Kang-won to get trillions of won?
Dastardly Don Departs: Supporting his decisions by saying no one but him really understands Iraq’s war, Donald Rumsfeld leaves the Democrats to deal with his mess in a move orchestrated more by James Baker, Secretary of State for George H.W. Bush than by W and Darth Dick. Is Bush I is finally getting a chance to extend his Clinton shortened presidency?
Rove, Rove, Rove Your Boat: Is Karl soon to be set a drift on the unkind seas of unemployed political geniuses? Republican strategist Ken Mehlman is taking a hike January 2007 leaving a lot of bagwash and nausea as the GOP girds its loins for 2008.
Kwan Lands Quad! Skating phenom Michelle Kwan is America’s newest goodwill ambassador. Her job will be to shine a whole lot of positive light on America that the rest of the world can see, double amen to that sister, to talk about setting goals, and to empower women. Her boss in State is a former figure skater. Who is it? (Answer at bottom).
Darth Dick’s Deviousness? Step 1. Cheney’s Halliburton acquires Dresser Industries in 1988 for $7.7 billion. Step 2. Shoddy due diligence by Halliburton soon reveals that Halliburton got screwed. Shortly after, Cheney gets himself appointed VP of ‘we the people,’ and Halliburton starts dumping pieces of Dresser. Step 3. After years of bribing NIGERIAN officials to gain contracts, Kellogg, a Dresser sub still owned by Halliburton, is being investigated by the Justice Department for violations of the foreign corrupt practices act; the Brits have a similar investigation in the works. Step 4. US and other governments, following years of suspected competitor coordinated contract bidding, investigate Kellogg. Step 5 KBR (Kellogg Brown Root), long a drain on Halliburton’s bottom line except for the money it made in Iraq largely on lucrative, no bid contracts, is the major piece of Dresser remaining in Halliburton that Halliburton is now in a big rush to dump because of potential liability from the litany of investigations plus old asbestos claims. Question 1. Did Darth Dick push lucrative, no-bid contracts to KBR to cover up his bungled purchase of Dresser? Question 2. To take the spotlight off Kellogg’s Niger bribery, did Darth Dick shine light on Valerie Plame, CIA spy, after Joe Wilson, her husband and former Ambassador to Gabon in the Bush 1 administration, challenged Cheney on NIGER sales of yellowcake to Iraq?
Corporate Crook Update
1. Enron’s Andrew Fastow, currently serving his six-year sentence in a minimum security prison in Oakdale, LA, the same joint where Bernie Ebbers of WorldCom is cooling his heels for the next twenty-five years, traveled in shackles to Houston to entertain seventy of the world’s top paid lawyers largely representing financial institutions fighting to avoid billions in class action suits filed by former Enron employees, shareholders, and other creditors. The $2.1 million in legal fees, the cost of this Andy show, is hardly a footnote in the hundreds of millions in legal fees billed (earned?) since Enron tanked.
Kleptocracy? A portmanteau of kleptomania and hypocrisy? No, but it could and should be, given that practitioners, many from countries courted by our leaders, D & R alike, are top government officials who, through shady transactions, get filthy rich while those they govern remain unspeakably poor: In Feb. 2007 the US attorney’s office in Manhattan is going to trial in the largest foreign bribery case ever brought against an American citizen, one James H. Giffen, wealthy merchant banker and consultant to Kazakhstan accused of paying $78 million in bribes to Nursultan A. Nazarbayev, president of Kazakhstan, a world leader in the practice of kleptocracy. Why do the Nazarbayevs of the world continue to be royally entertained by our top government officials from the White House on down and corporate bigs like Ted Turner?
Condoleeza Rice was a former competitive figure skater. She is an alumna of the University of Denver where Kwan plans to enroll. Does Michelle Kwan plan on being Secretary of State in say 2032? Or President?
That’s all for this week, my friends. Stay alert; don’t get uh, twisted!
Friday, November 10, 2006
Friday, November 03, 2006
Bush – Anti-Semantic? Bush talking about the difference between benchmarks and timetables is really nothing more than pushing the blame on the Iraqis for their sad state of affairs. I expect soon the war will be the Iraqi’s fault.
Go Forth and Multiply! Thanks to Uncle Sam restricting Asian condom imports that can be made at half the price, Condom makers in bible belt central, Eufaula, Alabama, despite being hundreds of millions of condoms behind in filling orders (hundred's of millions?), can breathe a sigh of relief; they will keep their subsidized jobs. What that cost is, relative to the cost of an explosion in unwanted births and increased infection from unsafe sex, hasn’t been factored into the equation.
Ta Ta Taurus Some twenty years and seven million cars later the last Taurus chugged from the assembly line in Atlanta. Eighty years earlier, on May 26, 1927, its great, great, great grandfather, the fifteen millionth and last Model T, was made in Highland Park, Michigan. It is interesting to speculate what will be last to roll off a Ford assembly line in another eighty years…perhaps a Ford Toyota.
Elmo Tickles Barbie? TMX Elmo, Mattel’s tenth anniversary Tickle Me Elmo doll producing more tickling sales than expected, has put a smile on Barbie’s face that Ken never accomplished.
Red Meat! Talk about bringing out the jeering jackals and howling hyenas, Kerry misspeak had Rove’s sphincter twitching and salivating as he stormed into the Oval Office with ‘taunting’ sheets for W and Darth Dick and Tony ‘the mouthpiece’ Snow. Surprisingly, they even talked John McCain to stick his square jaw into the fray, one veteran damning the other. For his part, Kerry finally bested Bush by shooting to the top of the Democrats’ most hated list. For our part: same shit, same sandbox.
Baghdad by the Tigris? Did anyone besides me hear a tour operator on TV offering Iraqi vacation packages? I heard it; I can’t believe it. Was it a bad Halloween joke?
Where’s There’s Poke There’s Ire It seems the Reverend Ted Haggart, president of the huge National Association of Evangelicals, pastor of the 14,000-member New Life Church in Colorado Springs, and a mover and shaker in the anti-gay marriage movement, has been using methamphetamine and paying a male escort for sex for three years according to a public statement made by Mike Jones, the male prostitute involved. A morally outraged Haggart, pleading a set-up, possibly politically motivated, has stepped down from his church positions and is seeking spiritual advice and guidance (don’t they all). Is he guilty? I don’t know, but he seems to be doing a log of guilty things. P.S. Haggart has since admitted buying meth, but says he threw it away. That's lamer than Clinton's not inhaling. He, Haggart that is, denies any sexual involvement, but his story seems to change hourly.
Washington War Crap Bribery, Conspiracy, Rotten Work, Lost Weapons; these are some of the charges against American occupation officials and major companies like Halliburton and Parsons brought by the Office of the Special Inspector General for Iraq Reconstruction (OSIG). No problem. Tucked away in the huge military spending bill (approved by Republicans and Democrats alike) that W signed two weeks ago is a provision to jettison OSIG 10/10/07. What in hell is going on in unreality town, and do you continue to doubt whose war this is?
More War and Political Crap: There is speculation that Saddam will be sentenced between now and Tuesday in an attempt to give sagging Republican reelection chances a shot in the arm. I keep wondering when Osama’s capture will be announced.
Curse Cruse! Sumner Redstone’s Paramount, citing Tom’s idiosyncratic behavior and his religion, gives him the axe. Tom, in a giant ‘Up yours Redstone!’ move buys control of United Artists. Paula Wagner, Tom’s long-time producing partner, will be CEO. Now all they have to do is figure out how to reinvent distribution--cell phone-inundated theaters and $10 popcorn are going the way of Betamax and drive-ins.
Corporate Crook Update:
1. Sanjay Kumar, former CEO of Computer Associates (CA), NYSE, was sentenced yesterday to 12 years in the slammer to contemplate orchestrating a $2.2 billion accounting fraud at CA then trying to keep it quiet by bribing witnesses. Seven other CA execs have pled guilty and face time; the company has paid over $200 million in fines. Kumar has to pay $8 million, stamp money compared to the buckets and barrels of cash he earned during his twenty years with CA, including $330 million in 1998. The Puck Stops Here: CA founder Charles Wang, who has thus far dodged prosecutorial slap-shots, and protégé Kumar own the NY Islanders hockey team. I don’t know about you, but I think the NHL ought to take a closer look at its owners.
TGI WednesdayI'll be glad to see the last of Tuesday, but I expect we'll have only about a week of peace before the gas of 'Election 2008' starts polluting the environment.
That’s all for this week, my friends. Stay alert; don’t get uh, twisted!
Go Forth and Multiply! Thanks to Uncle Sam restricting Asian condom imports that can be made at half the price, Condom makers in bible belt central, Eufaula, Alabama, despite being hundreds of millions of condoms behind in filling orders (hundred's of millions?), can breathe a sigh of relief; they will keep their subsidized jobs. What that cost is, relative to the cost of an explosion in unwanted births and increased infection from unsafe sex, hasn’t been factored into the equation.
Ta Ta Taurus Some twenty years and seven million cars later the last Taurus chugged from the assembly line in Atlanta. Eighty years earlier, on May 26, 1927, its great, great, great grandfather, the fifteen millionth and last Model T, was made in Highland Park, Michigan. It is interesting to speculate what will be last to roll off a Ford assembly line in another eighty years…perhaps a Ford Toyota.
Elmo Tickles Barbie? TMX Elmo, Mattel’s tenth anniversary Tickle Me Elmo doll producing more tickling sales than expected, has put a smile on Barbie’s face that Ken never accomplished.
Red Meat! Talk about bringing out the jeering jackals and howling hyenas, Kerry misspeak had Rove’s sphincter twitching and salivating as he stormed into the Oval Office with ‘taunting’ sheets for W and Darth Dick and Tony ‘the mouthpiece’ Snow. Surprisingly, they even talked John McCain to stick his square jaw into the fray, one veteran damning the other. For his part, Kerry finally bested Bush by shooting to the top of the Democrats’ most hated list. For our part: same shit, same sandbox.
Baghdad by the Tigris? Did anyone besides me hear a tour operator on TV offering Iraqi vacation packages? I heard it; I can’t believe it. Was it a bad Halloween joke?
Where’s There’s Poke There’s Ire It seems the Reverend Ted Haggart, president of the huge National Association of Evangelicals, pastor of the 14,000-member New Life Church in Colorado Springs, and a mover and shaker in the anti-gay marriage movement, has been using methamphetamine and paying a male escort for sex for three years according to a public statement made by Mike Jones, the male prostitute involved. A morally outraged Haggart, pleading a set-up, possibly politically motivated, has stepped down from his church positions and is seeking spiritual advice and guidance (don’t they all). Is he guilty? I don’t know, but he seems to be doing a log of guilty things. P.S. Haggart has since admitted buying meth, but says he threw it away. That's lamer than Clinton's not inhaling. He, Haggart that is, denies any sexual involvement, but his story seems to change hourly.
Washington War Crap Bribery, Conspiracy, Rotten Work, Lost Weapons; these are some of the charges against American occupation officials and major companies like Halliburton and Parsons brought by the Office of the Special Inspector General for Iraq Reconstruction (OSIG). No problem. Tucked away in the huge military spending bill (approved by Republicans and Democrats alike) that W signed two weeks ago is a provision to jettison OSIG 10/10/07. What in hell is going on in unreality town, and do you continue to doubt whose war this is?
More War and Political Crap: There is speculation that Saddam will be sentenced between now and Tuesday in an attempt to give sagging Republican reelection chances a shot in the arm. I keep wondering when Osama’s capture will be announced.
Curse Cruse! Sumner Redstone’s Paramount, citing Tom’s idiosyncratic behavior and his religion, gives him the axe. Tom, in a giant ‘Up yours Redstone!’ move buys control of United Artists. Paula Wagner, Tom’s long-time producing partner, will be CEO. Now all they have to do is figure out how to reinvent distribution--cell phone-inundated theaters and $10 popcorn are going the way of Betamax and drive-ins.
Corporate Crook Update:
1. Sanjay Kumar, former CEO of Computer Associates (CA), NYSE, was sentenced yesterday to 12 years in the slammer to contemplate orchestrating a $2.2 billion accounting fraud at CA then trying to keep it quiet by bribing witnesses. Seven other CA execs have pled guilty and face time; the company has paid over $200 million in fines. Kumar has to pay $8 million, stamp money compared to the buckets and barrels of cash he earned during his twenty years with CA, including $330 million in 1998. The Puck Stops Here: CA founder Charles Wang, who has thus far dodged prosecutorial slap-shots, and protégé Kumar own the NY Islanders hockey team. I don’t know about you, but I think the NHL ought to take a closer look at its owners.
TGI WednesdayI'll be glad to see the last of Tuesday, but I expect we'll have only about a week of peace before the gas of 'Election 2008' starts polluting the environment.
That’s all for this week, my friends. Stay alert; don’t get uh, twisted!
Thursday, November 02, 2006
ExtraWry and Technorati Join Hands
Technorati Profile
This post marks a relationship between ExtraWry and Technorati whereby the power of Technorati will be unleashed to let countless blogger searchers know of ExtraWry. Thank you Technorati!
This post marks a relationship between ExtraWry and Technorati whereby the power of Technorati will be unleashed to let countless blogger searchers know of ExtraWry. Thank you Technorati!
Friday, October 27, 2006
SEC – Shelter Elite Crooks? We have a Samberg, a Pequot, a Mack and a Morgan Stanley and an SEC investigation bogged down because John Mack and his cadre of legal wise guys have political clout with the SEC. Briefly, Mack’s pal, Arthur Samberg, founder and chief of Pequot, bought about $44 million in Heller stock immediately before its acquisition by GE Financial and pocketed $18 million in profit. Gary Aquirre, the SEC bulldog who had started to chew on the case, got fired when he wanted to take Mack’s testimony. The Senate Finance Committee is now taking a look. You might want to follow this one; it promises to be interesting provided regulators don’t get another case of the punies.
Nyet! Condi: Isn’t having Condi Dearest chastising Vlad Putin over press freedoms, restrictive laws, and tensions with neighboring countries hypocritical? Russia has problems, we have problems, but the real tragedy is how much gas our politicos waste generating headlines and reelection nausea and what none of us is doing about Darfur.
You’re F-f-f-f, er, Here’s $50 Million! Massachusetts Mutual Life Insurance Company CEO Robert J. O’Connell was fired for extramarital affairs with female employees, illegal activity in trading accounts, and misuse of company aircraft, BUT GET THIS: a three member arbitration panel said the board made a mistake and O’Connell could be entitled to as much as $50 million in benefits owed. There is a troubling suggestion in this screwy decision that the arbitration panel might have been influenced. Well, why not? If we know one fact, corruption and greed in business has run amok.
Osama for President? When Obama announced he might decide to run for president, W hurriedly called a special meeting of his war council, demanding to know who approved Osama coming out of hiding and running for president.
Rush Limbaugh is a Big Fat Idiot II! Could be the title of Al Franken’s next novel. Rush Limbaugh, in an insidious attempt to debase, said Michael J. Fox dramatized the effects of his Parkinson’s disease to garner votes for Democrats who support stem cell research. Rush, you wouldn’t even make good fertilizer for the ground Michael shakes.
Dis-Inherited? Have you ever heard of the ‘Life Settlement’ industry? Here’s the deal: You’re old, you’re broke, and let’s say you have a $1 million insurance policy you don’t need. Your heirs might disagree, but let’s be real: when you die you don’t need to a million bucks; good grief, you don’t even need pocket money. So here’s what happens: you sell your policy at a discount, get some cash, and when you die, the life settlement company gets the proceeds. It’s big business, in the billions, and the industry is laced with scammers. There’s got to be a better way.
Holy Cow! Obviously borrowing a page from Microsoft’s playbook, a Chicago law firm is moving what it calls a big chunk of its administrative functions like accounting and technical services to India. Wouldn’t it be more cost-effective for we, the people, if lawyers and courts also moved? Then, rather than Court TV, we could have something like Bombay Court Phone-In.
Darth Dick’s Smoke & Mirrors: VP Cheney likes to say that the ability to torture prisoners has given the US invaluable information. How much more or less would we have learned without torture? Was there a control group: These fifty weren’t tortured and told us nothing; these fifty were tortured and told us everything?
Jeffrey’s Big Adventure: Twenty four years and four months, probably in a medium security prison in Butner, NC, for fifty-two-year old former CEO Jeffrey K. Skilling’s unapologetic role in Enron’s spectacular collapse into the muck and murk of bankruptcy and ignominy, a term second only to Bernard Ebbers of WorldCom disfame who got thirty years. Skilling’s probably ticked that he didn’t come in first on that one either.
Comma = C$1,000,000? Next time your kid says about grammar: why do I need to know this crap anyway? you can relate the ‘Saga of the Telephone Poles.’ It seems Bell Aliant, an Atlantic Provinces telephone provider and Rogers Communications, Canada’s largest cable provider, went to court over a telephone pole contract that either could or could not be cancelled after one year. A judge ruled the placement of a comma dictated it could be canceled, costing Rogers C$1,000,000. Rogers, will, contest, of, course. Stay tuned.
Timetable, Shimetable: Memo to We, The People: Tell this government to get our troops out of Iraq now. Not in six months, twelve months, or eighteen months, but NOW! They, the government, planned this war poorly, their execution has been nothing if not shoddy, and their callous determination to perpetuate the conflict is unconscionable. To suggest there is going to be a more opportune time to withdraw our troops insults our intelligence and does nothing but line the pockets of military contractors and big oil to which they are disgracefully beholden.
$470 Million? $295 Million? $85 Million? Which one is Barry Diller’s pay for 2005? Well they all are, depending on how you count. Two things tabulators do agree on is that Diller, CEO of IAC/Interactive (Internet retailing and Home Shopping networks), was the highest paid CEO and wasn’t worth it, but they don’t say how much he should have been paid. Here’s my formula: ten times the annual salary of the lowest paid employee in the company. Naturally, Diller and other grossly overpaid executives and their current heirs don’t agree.
That’s all for this week, my friends. Stay alert; don’t get uh, twisted!
Nyet! Condi: Isn’t having Condi Dearest chastising Vlad Putin over press freedoms, restrictive laws, and tensions with neighboring countries hypocritical? Russia has problems, we have problems, but the real tragedy is how much gas our politicos waste generating headlines and reelection nausea and what none of us is doing about Darfur.
You’re F-f-f-f, er, Here’s $50 Million! Massachusetts Mutual Life Insurance Company CEO Robert J. O’Connell was fired for extramarital affairs with female employees, illegal activity in trading accounts, and misuse of company aircraft, BUT GET THIS: a three member arbitration panel said the board made a mistake and O’Connell could be entitled to as much as $50 million in benefits owed. There is a troubling suggestion in this screwy decision that the arbitration panel might have been influenced. Well, why not? If we know one fact, corruption and greed in business has run amok.
Osama for President? When Obama announced he might decide to run for president, W hurriedly called a special meeting of his war council, demanding to know who approved Osama coming out of hiding and running for president.
Rush Limbaugh is a Big Fat Idiot II! Could be the title of Al Franken’s next novel. Rush Limbaugh, in an insidious attempt to debase, said Michael J. Fox dramatized the effects of his Parkinson’s disease to garner votes for Democrats who support stem cell research. Rush, you wouldn’t even make good fertilizer for the ground Michael shakes.
Dis-Inherited? Have you ever heard of the ‘Life Settlement’ industry? Here’s the deal: You’re old, you’re broke, and let’s say you have a $1 million insurance policy you don’t need. Your heirs might disagree, but let’s be real: when you die you don’t need to a million bucks; good grief, you don’t even need pocket money. So here’s what happens: you sell your policy at a discount, get some cash, and when you die, the life settlement company gets the proceeds. It’s big business, in the billions, and the industry is laced with scammers. There’s got to be a better way.
Holy Cow! Obviously borrowing a page from Microsoft’s playbook, a Chicago law firm is moving what it calls a big chunk of its administrative functions like accounting and technical services to India. Wouldn’t it be more cost-effective for we, the people, if lawyers and courts also moved? Then, rather than Court TV, we could have something like Bombay Court Phone-In.
Darth Dick’s Smoke & Mirrors: VP Cheney likes to say that the ability to torture prisoners has given the US invaluable information. How much more or less would we have learned without torture? Was there a control group: These fifty weren’t tortured and told us nothing; these fifty were tortured and told us everything?
Jeffrey’s Big Adventure: Twenty four years and four months, probably in a medium security prison in Butner, NC, for fifty-two-year old former CEO Jeffrey K. Skilling’s unapologetic role in Enron’s spectacular collapse into the muck and murk of bankruptcy and ignominy, a term second only to Bernard Ebbers of WorldCom disfame who got thirty years. Skilling’s probably ticked that he didn’t come in first on that one either.
Comma = C$1,000,000? Next time your kid says about grammar: why do I need to know this crap anyway? you can relate the ‘Saga of the Telephone Poles.’ It seems Bell Aliant, an Atlantic Provinces telephone provider and Rogers Communications, Canada’s largest cable provider, went to court over a telephone pole contract that either could or could not be cancelled after one year. A judge ruled the placement of a comma dictated it could be canceled, costing Rogers C$1,000,000. Rogers, will, contest, of, course. Stay tuned.
Timetable, Shimetable: Memo to We, The People: Tell this government to get our troops out of Iraq now. Not in six months, twelve months, or eighteen months, but NOW! They, the government, planned this war poorly, their execution has been nothing if not shoddy, and their callous determination to perpetuate the conflict is unconscionable. To suggest there is going to be a more opportune time to withdraw our troops insults our intelligence and does nothing but line the pockets of military contractors and big oil to which they are disgracefully beholden.
$470 Million? $295 Million? $85 Million? Which one is Barry Diller’s pay for 2005? Well they all are, depending on how you count. Two things tabulators do agree on is that Diller, CEO of IAC/Interactive (Internet retailing and Home Shopping networks), was the highest paid CEO and wasn’t worth it, but they don’t say how much he should have been paid. Here’s my formula: ten times the annual salary of the lowest paid employee in the company. Naturally, Diller and other grossly overpaid executives and their current heirs don’t agree.
That’s all for this week, my friends. Stay alert; don’t get uh, twisted!
Friday, October 20, 2006
300,000,000; 12,000; 3024? These three numbers were widely reported in the news during the month of October. Do you know why? Answers at the bottom of this posting.
Drugged! Eli Lilly got its knuckles rapped by three docs from NIH (National Institute of Health) who said Lilly manipulated treatment guidelines to promote its lagging Xigris, an expensive ($8,000 for a four day treatment) treatment for sepsis, an often deadly blood infection, but for which older, cheaper, and equally effective treatments exist. Despite Lilly’s claim it did nothing wrong, this one stinks.
The Peacock Sheds Some Feathers: Because of declining viewership and ad revenues, NBC says it is cost cutting by pruning its 6,000 member newsgathering team, eliminating about three hundred jobs, mostly vacant, according to NBC News pres Steve Capus. Question: how does eliminating vacant jobs cut costs? If you sit at a desk and get a paycheck and aren’t Matt Lauer, be worried. P.S. If you watch NBC between 8:00 and 9:00, get ready for more mind-numbing crap (translation: reality TV) ; the really good stuff is moving to the 9:00 to 11:00 slot.
$84.8 Million Axe? Viacom’s CEO (Viacom owns a bunch of cable TV networks and movie and music publishing. It used to own CBS and related entities until the two companies split in 2005) Tom Freston, ousted after less than a year, departs with severance and deferred compensation of $84.8 million. Let’s send our resumes to Sumner Redstone, executive chairman and founder; I know I’ve got a few months to kill.
Grasso Greed Grabbed! Former NYSE chairman, Richard Grasso has been ordered by the State Supreme Court to repay $100 million of his $139.5 million severance pay. Not good enough. I say they go after the rest, including the $80 million he got paid between 1999 and 2001. This guy is the poster child for greed.
CBS Payola Nailed! I’ve never heard a single song by Nine Inch Nails or Nick Lachey, but apparently a lot of people have, thanks to bribes paid to CBS Radio by the major music companies. To settle, admitting no wrong or course, CBS is donating $2 million to New York charities. The major music guys are paying $30 million, no charities mentioned. Don’t move that dial: subpoenas have been issued to other major radio companies like Clear Channel, Entercom, and Citadel.
Some Nerve! About twelve thousand physicians have purchased automated devices that check for nerve disease. Plug a finger in and voila! Fifteen minutes later you have the results and the doc has $250; do enough of these a year, and the doc can buy his wife a new BMW. Naturally, the nation’s neurologists are crying foul, but do they have a point? Neurometrix, the maker of the device, is under investigation by the feds, not for its product but for its aggressive marketing practices that may not stand the smell test.
Bitch-Slapped? Pfizer, the world’s largest drug company, more than doubled third quarter profits to $3.4 billion, up from $1.6 billion in the same quarter last year. And how much was it that you said your healthcare premiums increased? Total earnings for nine U.S. pharmaceutical companies regularly surveyed by Chemical and Engineering News increased 21.9% to $11.6 billion.
Blues, St. Louis Blues: No, not William Christopher Handy's immortal classic and not those pesky hockey players, I’m talking birds, Cardinals to be more precise, the St. Louis Cardinals who beat the NY Mets, the Amazins, in a mighty struggle at Shea last night, a struggle whose results weren’t decided until the very last pitch. Too bad both teams can’t team up to take on the Motor City boys; they’re going to be tough to beat.
What Are The Odds? With eighteen days left before mid-term elections, want to bet that Republicans, hearing the loud flush of defeat, come up with a way to get our troops out of Iraq? W, Darth Dick, and Dastardly Don are meeting with the Pentagon pariahs this weekend; I don't think it's a tailgate party.
Answers: 300,000,000: the population of the United States passes the 300,000,000 mark; 12,000: the Dow Jones Industrial Average climbs past 12,000; 3,024: Iraq coalition deaths pass the 3,000 mark. How many did you get correct?
That’s all for this week, my friends. Stay alert; don’t get uh, twisted!
Drugged! Eli Lilly got its knuckles rapped by three docs from NIH (National Institute of Health) who said Lilly manipulated treatment guidelines to promote its lagging Xigris, an expensive ($8,000 for a four day treatment) treatment for sepsis, an often deadly blood infection, but for which older, cheaper, and equally effective treatments exist. Despite Lilly’s claim it did nothing wrong, this one stinks.
The Peacock Sheds Some Feathers: Because of declining viewership and ad revenues, NBC says it is cost cutting by pruning its 6,000 member newsgathering team, eliminating about three hundred jobs, mostly vacant, according to NBC News pres Steve Capus. Question: how does eliminating vacant jobs cut costs? If you sit at a desk and get a paycheck and aren’t Matt Lauer, be worried. P.S. If you watch NBC between 8:00 and 9:00, get ready for more mind-numbing crap (translation: reality TV) ; the really good stuff is moving to the 9:00 to 11:00 slot.
$84.8 Million Axe? Viacom’s CEO (Viacom owns a bunch of cable TV networks and movie and music publishing. It used to own CBS and related entities until the two companies split in 2005) Tom Freston, ousted after less than a year, departs with severance and deferred compensation of $84.8 million. Let’s send our resumes to Sumner Redstone, executive chairman and founder; I know I’ve got a few months to kill.
Grasso Greed Grabbed! Former NYSE chairman, Richard Grasso has been ordered by the State Supreme Court to repay $100 million of his $139.5 million severance pay. Not good enough. I say they go after the rest, including the $80 million he got paid between 1999 and 2001. This guy is the poster child for greed.CBS Payola Nailed! I’ve never heard a single song by Nine Inch Nails or Nick Lachey, but apparently a lot of people have, thanks to bribes paid to CBS Radio by the major music companies. To settle, admitting no wrong or course, CBS is donating $2 million to New York charities. The major music guys are paying $30 million, no charities mentioned. Don’t move that dial: subpoenas have been issued to other major radio companies like Clear Channel, Entercom, and Citadel.
Some Nerve! About twelve thousand physicians have purchased automated devices that check for nerve disease. Plug a finger in and voila! Fifteen minutes later you have the results and the doc has $250; do enough of these a year, and the doc can buy his wife a new BMW. Naturally, the nation’s neurologists are crying foul, but do they have a point? Neurometrix, the maker of the device, is under investigation by the feds, not for its product but for its aggressive marketing practices that may not stand the smell test.
Bitch-Slapped? Pfizer, the world’s largest drug company, more than doubled third quarter profits to $3.4 billion, up from $1.6 billion in the same quarter last year. And how much was it that you said your healthcare premiums increased? Total earnings for nine U.S. pharmaceutical companies regularly surveyed by Chemical and Engineering News increased 21.9% to $11.6 billion.
Blues, St. Louis Blues: No, not William Christopher Handy's immortal classic and not those pesky hockey players, I’m talking birds, Cardinals to be more precise, the St. Louis Cardinals who beat the NY Mets, the Amazins, in a mighty struggle at Shea last night, a struggle whose results weren’t decided until the very last pitch. Too bad both teams can’t team up to take on the Motor City boys; they’re going to be tough to beat.
What Are The Odds? With eighteen days left before mid-term elections, want to bet that Republicans, hearing the loud flush of defeat, come up with a way to get our troops out of Iraq? W, Darth Dick, and Dastardly Don are meeting with the Pentagon pariahs this weekend; I don't think it's a tailgate party.
Answers: 300,000,000: the population of the United States passes the 300,000,000 mark; 12,000: the Dow Jones Industrial Average climbs past 12,000; 3,024: Iraq coalition deaths pass the 3,000 mark. How many did you get correct?
That’s all for this week, my friends. Stay alert; don’t get uh, twisted!
Friday, October 13, 2006
Hastert Doomed? W appeared on TV with Denny and told him he was doing a good job. Well actually, among other things, he said, “This country is better off with Denny Hastert as the speaker.” Remember when W appeared with Brownie of FEMA and told him he was doing a heck of a job while New Orleans sank from view? Brownie's subsequent demise was quick and painful, as it should have been. So long Denny. You’re next.
Kim-Boom! With North Korea detonating a nuclear bomb that though seeming to have fallen far short of the ten to twenty kilotons first reported to something less than one kiloton, it got the world’s attention. Condi says we won’t go to war (did I miss the part where we put her in charge) and W is pissed because he still can’t pronounce nuclear and Darth Dick phoned Halliburton to check on its troop strength. Height challenged Kim Jong-il, North Korea’s dictator, lashed out at the world for pooh-poohing his little bomb and said size doesn’t matter (Yeah right! Ladies, where have you heard that one before).
Yougle or Suegle? So Google scoops up You Tube, a collection of home videos produced by a demographic that I put at fifteen, plus or minus a couple of years. Some are quite entertaining; we’ve all seen them attached to emails from our jokester lists; others are pure crap; others are ripped off from copyrighted sources like movie studios, and therein lies the problem. Movie companies that invest tens of million of dollars to make movies aren’t about to let Google and its you-tubers freely disseminate their creations…so they plan to sue Google (Google has deep pockets – You Tube was a start up so going after it and winning would have been a Pyrrhic victory). Movie moguls are also going after individual you-tubers much like the record companies did when Napster ticked off the music guys so be prepared for the FBI to come knocking in the middle of a dark and stormy night. P.S. Google paid $1.65 billion in Google stock; if you’re a Google stockholder, that’s your money.
Third Time Lucky? Cendant shareholders hope not, at least in this case. Ex-CEO, Walter Forbes, facing his third fraud trial for leading a scheme to inflate CUC’s income by $252 million prior to its 1997 merger with HFS. The prosecutor says Forbes lied about everything to everyone and lined his pockets with tens of millions of dollars. It is interesting that this was one of the largest accounting frauds of the 1990s because $252 million seems paltry, almost like pocket change given the billion dollar frauds of more recent times. Forbes’s first two dances with justice ended in mistrials after jurors spent a combined sixty days without reaching a decision.
Peeuwlet Packard? Hold your nose. Now it seems that in addition to directors and executives spying on one another and generally doing the nasty, there are reports of selling stock in advance of detrimental press releases. Shareholders need to clean house at this once highly respected corporation by replacing every board member and all executive management or this sucker will bleed to death.
Corporate Crooks
1. Cheaters and Crooks Safeguarding your Computer? McAfee, the computer virus protector, is among a growing list of companies caught up in this practice likened to betting on a horse race after the race is over. McAfee’s CEO retired, which I hope is a euphemism for booting his butt out the door.
Similarly, CNet’s CEO resigned. Like McAfee, millions of individual computer users look to CNet for trusted data on a host of software and hardware issues. Or at least we used to. How can we trust companies run by cheaters and crooks?
In all, about 120 companies are under government scrutiny or have launched internal investigations into options backdating. The FBI is vigorously inspecting the books of fifty-five of these; two have received criminal indictments.
2. Internet Fraud: The former CEO of Homestore Inc., an online home listing service, is to get fifteen years in the slammer for directing a $67 million fraud against the company, unless his attorney can pull a rabbit from the hat.
Does anyone remember the date that all the crooks started working for corporations?
Torre-ific! Hey, give me a break. I’m a Yankee fan, and I’m glad Joe’s coming back.
Nay Ney! Republican congressman Bob Ney from Ohio pleaded guilty to accepting bribes from Washington’s most hated lobbyist Black Jack Abramhoff in return for giving Jack’s clients what they wanted. BUT GET THIS CHUTZPAH, Ney said he would resign within the next few weeks. What? He’s got more favors to do before he leaves? Throw the bum out. He doesn’t deserve another day pretending to be a leader.
That’s all for this week, my friends. Stay alert; don’t get uh, twisted!
Friday, October 06, 2006
Woodward’s Genius: The genius of ‘State of Denial,’ Bob Woodward’s latest book that calls the Bush administrations take on the war in Iraq flawed is not what exists between the front and back covers; it is that he’s getting paid a ton of money and receiving hours of media coverage for doing nothing other than stating the obvious.
Carly’s HP Book: Speaking of genius, how good is Carly Fiorina’s timing? The former CEO of HP, rather unceremoniously axed in February 2005, is releasing her new book, Queen Carly, er, Tough Choices, next week. Talk about millions in free PR with HP doing everything it can to show the world how inept it has become since deposing Carly, including an arrest warrant issued for Patricia Dunn, chairwoman fired a week or two ago. As I said before, my printer still works. How’s the stock doing?
Michael Milliken Redux: Those of you under thirty years of age who haven’t studied financial shenanigan history might not remember Drexel, Burnham, Lambert and it’s hotshot junk bond salesman, Michael Milliken, who went to jail for a dozen or so years for committing all sorts of fraud crimes against America. I just read the Forbes 400 list. I didn’t see your name. I didn’t see my name. But guess where Michael sits? Yeah, he’s there, #153 with $2.1 billion. Crime pays!
Excuses Anonymous: Disgraced for E-mail sex with underage pages, Congressmen Foley checks into an alcohol treatment facility citing substance abuse and, when he was thirteen to fifteen, molestation by a clergyman, as excuses for his behavior. Tragic those these life-altering events are, they are not excuses for what he did. He, like other once trusted government officials, did what he did because he thought he wouldn’t get caught. He's known for years that he had a problem; why didn’t he fix it?
Cat-choo!: The cat might not make you sneeze, but the $4,000 price tag will. Early next year Allerca, a biotech company, will deliver hypoallergenic – or is that hyper-alley-genic – kittens a $4,000 each. Now if they could just figure out how to eliminate the hairball, tattered furniture, and cat box parts.
Hastert Hoedown: In his televised speech regarding the Foley's sex scandal House Speaker Hastert did a masterful ‘Buck Stops Here’ dance, but the music sounded a lot like ‘Pass the Buck Polka,’ that old DC favorite. Now it sounds like the FBI and a lot of other DC folks we’ve grown to love and trust are joining Denny’s Dance; Tony Snow, Whitehouse spokesman, is playing lead fiddle as fast as he can, and Karl Rove is no doubt yodeling up a storm.
Air Nowhere, Free Elbowroom: Say you happened to end up in Brookings, SD and needed to get to Huron, SD, you could take an hour out of your hectic schedule and drive, or you could jam yourself, along with the two other people who decided to fly on that or any other day, into a nineteen passenger turbo prop operated by Mesa Air, an Essential Air Services carrier subsidized by we the people ever since airline deregulation in 1978 - remember that, the day US airlines started their long, painful decline into the toilet of mediocrity. But why should we care? Because each ticket costs we the people $600 - $700. So, lets do the math: an average of three passengers per flight times 24 flights per week, 12 outbound and 12 inbound flights, times fifty-two weeks times say $650, the average ticket subsidy, equals $2.5 million per year. PS: There are over one-hundred Essential Airports costing over $100 million annually.
Rice Redefines Progress: At least consistency runs rampant in Bushies Whitehouse. This week, Condi, a majority of one, insisted there were signs of progress in Iraq. Would this be why the Whitehouse is stepping up its efforts to censor battlefront news and coverage of the returning coffins of dead service men and women: they don’t want to share all this progress?
Bad Apple: Has Steve Jobs’ company been backdating options? It’s called spring-loading or fraud, depending on which side of the room you’re on. To me, if it looks like insider trading and smells like insider trading, then it is insider trading. It’s way past time for shareholders to demand that corporate America start to wipe its butt.
Power always has to be kept in check; power exercised in secret, especially under the cloak of national security, is doubly dangerous. -William Proxmire, US senator, reformer (1915-2005)
http://wordsmith.org/ 10-06-06
That’s all for this week, my friends. Stay alert; don’t get uh, twisted!
Carly’s HP Book: Speaking of genius, how good is Carly Fiorina’s timing? The former CEO of HP, rather unceremoniously axed in February 2005, is releasing her new book, Queen Carly, er, Tough Choices, next week. Talk about millions in free PR with HP doing everything it can to show the world how inept it has become since deposing Carly, including an arrest warrant issued for Patricia Dunn, chairwoman fired a week or two ago. As I said before, my printer still works. How’s the stock doing?
Michael Milliken Redux: Those of you under thirty years of age who haven’t studied financial shenanigan history might not remember Drexel, Burnham, Lambert and it’s hotshot junk bond salesman, Michael Milliken, who went to jail for a dozen or so years for committing all sorts of fraud crimes against America. I just read the Forbes 400 list. I didn’t see your name. I didn’t see my name. But guess where Michael sits? Yeah, he’s there, #153 with $2.1 billion. Crime pays!
Excuses Anonymous: Disgraced for E-mail sex with underage pages, Congressmen Foley checks into an alcohol treatment facility citing substance abuse and, when he was thirteen to fifteen, molestation by a clergyman, as excuses for his behavior. Tragic those these life-altering events are, they are not excuses for what he did. He, like other once trusted government officials, did what he did because he thought he wouldn’t get caught. He's known for years that he had a problem; why didn’t he fix it?
Cat-choo!: The cat might not make you sneeze, but the $4,000 price tag will. Early next year Allerca, a biotech company, will deliver hypoallergenic – or is that hyper-alley-genic – kittens a $4,000 each. Now if they could just figure out how to eliminate the hairball, tattered furniture, and cat box parts.
Hastert Hoedown: In his televised speech regarding the Foley's sex scandal House Speaker Hastert did a masterful ‘Buck Stops Here’ dance, but the music sounded a lot like ‘Pass the Buck Polka,’ that old DC favorite. Now it sounds like the FBI and a lot of other DC folks we’ve grown to love and trust are joining Denny’s Dance; Tony Snow, Whitehouse spokesman, is playing lead fiddle as fast as he can, and Karl Rove is no doubt yodeling up a storm.
Air Nowhere, Free Elbowroom: Say you happened to end up in Brookings, SD and needed to get to Huron, SD, you could take an hour out of your hectic schedule and drive, or you could jam yourself, along with the two other people who decided to fly on that or any other day, into a nineteen passenger turbo prop operated by Mesa Air, an Essential Air Services carrier subsidized by we the people ever since airline deregulation in 1978 - remember that, the day US airlines started their long, painful decline into the toilet of mediocrity. But why should we care? Because each ticket costs we the people $600 - $700. So, lets do the math: an average of three passengers per flight times 24 flights per week, 12 outbound and 12 inbound flights, times fifty-two weeks times say $650, the average ticket subsidy, equals $2.5 million per year. PS: There are over one-hundred Essential Airports costing over $100 million annually.
Rice Redefines Progress: At least consistency runs rampant in Bushies Whitehouse. This week, Condi, a majority of one, insisted there were signs of progress in Iraq. Would this be why the Whitehouse is stepping up its efforts to censor battlefront news and coverage of the returning coffins of dead service men and women: they don’t want to share all this progress?
Bad Apple: Has Steve Jobs’ company been backdating options? It’s called spring-loading or fraud, depending on which side of the room you’re on. To me, if it looks like insider trading and smells like insider trading, then it is insider trading. It’s way past time for shareholders to demand that corporate America start to wipe its butt.
Power always has to be kept in check; power exercised in secret, especially under the cloak of national security, is doubly dangerous. -William Proxmire, US senator, reformer (1915-2005)
http://wordsmith.org/ 10-06-06
That’s all for this week, my friends. Stay alert; don’t get uh, twisted!
Friday, September 29, 2006
Blow Job? Who’s fooling who? Washington’s biggest leper, Jack Abramoff, had 82 contacts with the Rove man’s office and 10 contacts with the Rove man himself. Abramoff’s former secretary is Rove’s executive assistant. How convenient is that? Sporting events tickets were given, meals were enjoyed, expensive wine was bought. A White House spokeswoman said the latter proved Abramoff and Rove weren’t close since Rove doesn’t drink alcohol and his close friends know that. Ah yes, but did he take the wine?
Kepcher Trumped; Ivanka Trump. So The Donald gave Carolyn Kepcher, the best thing about The Apprentice, the elevator. Say what you want, Donnie, that is bald-faced nepotism, and in my books, YOU'RE FIRED!
Buy My Book Please So Musharraf, president of Pakistan, would rather use a nationally televised meeting with super agent Georgie in the Rose Garden to promote his book, In the Line of Fire: A Memoir, rather than arrive at a way to work with Afghanistan and find Osama. And then we gave him dinner? And to top it off, we gave Karzai from Afghanistan a dinner. Isn’t that something like giving the head of the Mexican and Columbian drug cartels dinner?
Out, Out Damn Spot! The whole world (read United States) knows that Diebold voting machines are a dud. So you gotta ask yourself: why are they going to be used? Because Diebold says they’re reliable? Because Diebold is a Texas-based company that supports Republicans for re-election? Because Diebold Elections Systems president meets at Bush’s Crawford ranch for Republican re-election strategy sessions? Banks across the nation use ATM’s that spit out instant paper trails; can’t a simple screw-turn make them into voting machines? Or we could make it into a science project and let the kids do it.
$&%!#*$&% Contractors In Iraq, thirteen of fourteen major projects worth hundreds of millions built, to use the term loosely, by American contractor Parsons Corp have been given a big thumbs down by congress. In one case, the $72 million police college, the plumbing burst dumping urine and feces throughout the building. Other big American contractors in Iraq, Bechtel and KBR, the latter a sub of Halliburton, Darth Dickie’s former domain, also came under sharp criticism. In all, we’re talking $30 to $45 billion in reconstruction, and I for one am not sanguine that congressional mouthwork is the answer.
Anthills? For those in Washington who seem befuddled by the idea that the war in Iraq has worsened the threat of terrorism, here’s a simple experiment I'd like them to try: go outside, find a stick, find a fire ant nest, poke with stick, run like hell.
Blackberry Pie? As if Research in Motion, the Blackberry people, didn’t have enough on the tiny little keyboards with several years of fighting copyright infringement charges, now they’ve been dicking with their stock options. So far, RIM says it’s no big deal and their business and stock are going like gangbusters, but keep you eyes open if you’re an investor. The SEC doesn’t like company execs playing with option grant dates. RIMM, NASDAQ.
Rummy Cheats To learn that Defense Secretary Rumsfeld never loses at squash comes as no surprise since he only plays subordinates, but to learn that he also cheats speaks volumes about the mixed signals he sends regarding the war in Iraq. In my experience cheaters often aren't aware of the thin line between fact and fiction. As an aside, I wonder who would win if Rummy played Georgie The Unglib or Darth Dickie. Condi vs. Rummy, now that's a match I'd like to see.
Stock This in Your Pipe A trader sold 259 billion (yes, billion) shares in CMKM Diamonds at a fifth of a penny a share and raised $53 million. CMKM Diamonds, OTC, never traded above two cents a share and had total assets in 2002 of, are you ready for this, $344. When an auditor hired by the company quit after eleven days saying they suspected criminal activity, a company spokesperson pooh-poohed the claim saying the auditor couldn’t possibly make such a claim since the company’s records couldn’t be found. The well-connected former FBI agent the company hired as co-Chairman for $40,000 per month told a judge he didn’t know how many employees the company had or what they did and was not familiar with the company’s assets or liabilities, nor did he ever go to the company’s offices, perhaps because they didn’t have any, and is now claiming he hasn’t been paid the amount owed. My thoughts: maybe he hasn’t been paid the amount promised, but if he’s been paid nada, zero, nothing, I think he’s been paid the amount owed.
A Fifth of HP Well, they've been drinking something at HP. Its execs are pleading the Fifth and resigning faster than their printers can kick out clear, crisp documents. Congressional representatives have been left shaking their heads at the refusal of the former Chairwoman, Patricia Dunn, to accept any responsibility in the boardroom spying shenanigans. Besides Dunn, general counsel Ann Baskins has resigned. She was one of 10 HP witnesses who blessed the House committee with silence. HP’s stock has lost about half its value in the past year; so far my printer still works.
Sony Burn Lenovo and IBM are recalling 500,000 plus Sony lithium ion batteries after a notebook computer caught fire in the LA airport. Lenovo is the Chinese company that bought IBM’s personal computing business. On top of Dell’s 4.1 million and Apple’s 1.8 million battery recalls, the total hit on Sony is nearing 6.5 million batteries. Given Sony's size, the cost isn't that much unless some inconsiderate laptoppers get a good old fashioned American class action suit stoked up.
Yuan For You and Yuan For Me Early stirring in China that it may revalue the yuan is good news for the $725 billion (+-) trade surplus with the US but not so good for we the people because now we’ll have to pay more greenbacks for all the Chinese goodies we ‘yuan’ to have. I wonder: does that include takeout?
Angelina, Brad, and Jacob? Who? Jacob Alexander, a fugitive from US justice is hiding out in Namibia, although the country’s hospitality toward him isn’t quite the same as it is for A and B; Jacob is in jail, waiting to see if the creaky, crooked wheels of international justice will see him extradited, despite no Namibia/US treaty, to face a Converse Technology stock option swindle. Jacob had been Converse’s CEO until May when he resigned and spirited his family off to Israel then to Namibia. A couple of other former Converse execs pleaded not guilty, but they didn’t make it out of the county. Converse, NASDAQ, $21-22, 2005 revenue $959.4 million, net $57.3 million. This ain’t bad; why were they screwing with the stock options?
Et Tu, Methuselah? Billionaire Kirk Kerkorian, who must be two thousand years old in take-over artist years, has signaled a willingness to put up another $400 million for GM stock to shove a reluctant GM back to stalled Renault/Nissan alliance discussions.
That’s all for this week, my friends. Stay alert; don’t get uh, twisted!
Kepcher Trumped; Ivanka Trump. So The Donald gave Carolyn Kepcher, the best thing about The Apprentice, the elevator. Say what you want, Donnie, that is bald-faced nepotism, and in my books, YOU'RE FIRED!
Buy My Book Please So Musharraf, president of Pakistan, would rather use a nationally televised meeting with super agent Georgie in the Rose Garden to promote his book, In the Line of Fire: A Memoir, rather than arrive at a way to work with Afghanistan and find Osama. And then we gave him dinner? And to top it off, we gave Karzai from Afghanistan a dinner. Isn’t that something like giving the head of the Mexican and Columbian drug cartels dinner?
Out, Out Damn Spot! The whole world (read United States) knows that Diebold voting machines are a dud. So you gotta ask yourself: why are they going to be used? Because Diebold says they’re reliable? Because Diebold is a Texas-based company that supports Republicans for re-election? Because Diebold Elections Systems president meets at Bush’s Crawford ranch for Republican re-election strategy sessions? Banks across the nation use ATM’s that spit out instant paper trails; can’t a simple screw-turn make them into voting machines? Or we could make it into a science project and let the kids do it.
$&%!#*$&% Contractors In Iraq, thirteen of fourteen major projects worth hundreds of millions built, to use the term loosely, by American contractor Parsons Corp have been given a big thumbs down by congress. In one case, the $72 million police college, the plumbing burst dumping urine and feces throughout the building. Other big American contractors in Iraq, Bechtel and KBR, the latter a sub of Halliburton, Darth Dickie’s former domain, also came under sharp criticism. In all, we’re talking $30 to $45 billion in reconstruction, and I for one am not sanguine that congressional mouthwork is the answer.
Anthills? For those in Washington who seem befuddled by the idea that the war in Iraq has worsened the threat of terrorism, here’s a simple experiment I'd like them to try: go outside, find a stick, find a fire ant nest, poke with stick, run like hell.
Blackberry Pie? As if Research in Motion, the Blackberry people, didn’t have enough on the tiny little keyboards with several years of fighting copyright infringement charges, now they’ve been dicking with their stock options. So far, RIM says it’s no big deal and their business and stock are going like gangbusters, but keep you eyes open if you’re an investor. The SEC doesn’t like company execs playing with option grant dates. RIMM, NASDAQ.
Rummy Cheats To learn that Defense Secretary Rumsfeld never loses at squash comes as no surprise since he only plays subordinates, but to learn that he also cheats speaks volumes about the mixed signals he sends regarding the war in Iraq. In my experience cheaters often aren't aware of the thin line between fact and fiction. As an aside, I wonder who would win if Rummy played Georgie The Unglib or Darth Dickie. Condi vs. Rummy, now that's a match I'd like to see.
Stock This in Your Pipe A trader sold 259 billion (yes, billion) shares in CMKM Diamonds at a fifth of a penny a share and raised $53 million. CMKM Diamonds, OTC, never traded above two cents a share and had total assets in 2002 of, are you ready for this, $344. When an auditor hired by the company quit after eleven days saying they suspected criminal activity, a company spokesperson pooh-poohed the claim saying the auditor couldn’t possibly make such a claim since the company’s records couldn’t be found. The well-connected former FBI agent the company hired as co-Chairman for $40,000 per month told a judge he didn’t know how many employees the company had or what they did and was not familiar with the company’s assets or liabilities, nor did he ever go to the company’s offices, perhaps because they didn’t have any, and is now claiming he hasn’t been paid the amount owed. My thoughts: maybe he hasn’t been paid the amount promised, but if he’s been paid nada, zero, nothing, I think he’s been paid the amount owed.
A Fifth of HP Well, they've been drinking something at HP. Its execs are pleading the Fifth and resigning faster than their printers can kick out clear, crisp documents. Congressional representatives have been left shaking their heads at the refusal of the former Chairwoman, Patricia Dunn, to accept any responsibility in the boardroom spying shenanigans. Besides Dunn, general counsel Ann Baskins has resigned. She was one of 10 HP witnesses who blessed the House committee with silence. HP’s stock has lost about half its value in the past year; so far my printer still works.
Sony Burn Lenovo and IBM are recalling 500,000 plus Sony lithium ion batteries after a notebook computer caught fire in the LA airport. Lenovo is the Chinese company that bought IBM’s personal computing business. On top of Dell’s 4.1 million and Apple’s 1.8 million battery recalls, the total hit on Sony is nearing 6.5 million batteries. Given Sony's size, the cost isn't that much unless some inconsiderate laptoppers get a good old fashioned American class action suit stoked up.
Yuan For You and Yuan For Me Early stirring in China that it may revalue the yuan is good news for the $725 billion (+-) trade surplus with the US but not so good for we the people because now we’ll have to pay more greenbacks for all the Chinese goodies we ‘yuan’ to have. I wonder: does that include takeout?
Angelina, Brad, and Jacob? Who? Jacob Alexander, a fugitive from US justice is hiding out in Namibia, although the country’s hospitality toward him isn’t quite the same as it is for A and B; Jacob is in jail, waiting to see if the creaky, crooked wheels of international justice will see him extradited, despite no Namibia/US treaty, to face a Converse Technology stock option swindle. Jacob had been Converse’s CEO until May when he resigned and spirited his family off to Israel then to Namibia. A couple of other former Converse execs pleaded not guilty, but they didn’t make it out of the county. Converse, NASDAQ, $21-22, 2005 revenue $959.4 million, net $57.3 million. This ain’t bad; why were they screwing with the stock options?
Et Tu, Methuselah? Billionaire Kirk Kerkorian, who must be two thousand years old in take-over artist years, has signaled a willingness to put up another $400 million for GM stock to shove a reluctant GM back to stalled Renault/Nissan alliance discussions.
That’s all for this week, my friends. Stay alert; don’t get uh, twisted!
Friday, September 22, 2006
Un-UN With Hugo Chavez from Venezuela and Mahmoud Amadinejad from Iran blasting Bush and Bush blasting everyone in the world who doesn’t agree with US, the UN took on a decidedly un-united tone during it meetings this week. Isn’t it odd that the top reps from two leading vendors of petroleum would journey to the home of their largest customer and piss on his daisies? Are all world leaders so ineffective at governing for the people that they need to hide behind the curtains of war?
See No Evil The Canadians blasted the Americans for rendering a Canadian citizen to Syria’s harsh prison system where he was held and tortured for a year before being released, totally innocent of all except being born Syrian. Is this what American’s want to see? Is this what American’s see?
Pssst! Password? So a couple of thousand laptop computers disappeared from the Department of Commerce. But don’t worry, department spokespersons say, they are password protected. Now if only the Defense Department, whose computers are regularly hacked, would get some of these super passwords from the good folks at Commerce, we can all start to feel safer.
Eight Commandments? The Bush Whitehouse seems hell bent on election that it is going to change the Geneva Convention so that those responsible for violations will not be prosecuted as war criminals. They of course don’t say that; they say they need to torture people to find out why they want to kill us. In a related matter, the Bush Whitehouse wants commandments six and nine deleted.
More HURDles for HP? Now it seems Mark V. Hurd, HP’s CEO, might have had his mitts in the boardroom spy scandal ricocheting around silicon valley. CEO’s have proven slippery though, and it may be hard to stick him with any dastardly deeds. Meanwhile, HP’s stock has turned down.
Zuckenberg and Facebook Ever hear of them? Who or what are they? Your guess is as good as mine, but in that world that no one except the alien brethren among us knows about, Yahoo has offered 22-year-old Mark Zuckenberg $900 million, that’s just a paltry $100 million shy of a billion bucks, for Facebook, a social networking company for college types that lets them gossip, flirt and keep track of parties, those coming, not those in the past, which, presumably college kids of today like those of yesterday want to forget. Yahoo says they will keep Zuckenberg around to run the company as he wants (well maybe not exactly as he wants, but like anyone with $900 million invested might let him).
Another Virgin Sir Richard, already owner of a stable of travel, media, and entertainment virgins, wants that red-hot momma, Earth, to cool down her act, and he’s putting his money where his mouth is. Branson says he will put up $3 billion to develop energy resources that do not contribute to global warming. Hey, I like this guy and the Al Gore guy who helped persuade his thinking, but is Richard being eleemosynary or opportunistic? Keep your eye on alternate energy stocks...maybe you can pocket a buck or two.
No More E.Coli To get the government off their spinach, California growers say they will implement new growing and handling procedures to ensure they don’t ship e.coli infected products. How long did they plan on waiting?
$10 Oranges? The shortage of Mexican laborers caused by America’s crackdown on illegals streaming across the border has left California farmers woefully short of pickers, and their fruit is rotting on the branch. So, $10 oranges? Maybe not, but it ain’t gonna get cheaper. Gracias, Washington amigos, for another failed policy.
Please, Mr. Big Oil, “We would really appreciate it” if you changed your contracts. That’s pretty much the Interior Department’s response to its $12 billion mistake in favor of the oil companies. Of course, not one oil company said boo so I guess they didn’t notice the error either…I mean it’s hard to imagine ‘big oil’ being so disingenuous. Curiously, the Interior Department said it will not try to correct the mistake because it has no leverage against the oil companies and doesn’t want any. HUH? It has also prevented federal auditors from recovering $30 million in deliberate lease underpayments by the oil companies.
That’s all for this week, my friends. Stay alert; don’t get uh, twisted!
See No Evil The Canadians blasted the Americans for rendering a Canadian citizen to Syria’s harsh prison system where he was held and tortured for a year before being released, totally innocent of all except being born Syrian. Is this what American’s want to see? Is this what American’s see?
Pssst! Password? So a couple of thousand laptop computers disappeared from the Department of Commerce. But don’t worry, department spokespersons say, they are password protected. Now if only the Defense Department, whose computers are regularly hacked, would get some of these super passwords from the good folks at Commerce, we can all start to feel safer.
Eight Commandments? The Bush Whitehouse seems hell bent on election that it is going to change the Geneva Convention so that those responsible for violations will not be prosecuted as war criminals. They of course don’t say that; they say they need to torture people to find out why they want to kill us. In a related matter, the Bush Whitehouse wants commandments six and nine deleted.
More HURDles for HP? Now it seems Mark V. Hurd, HP’s CEO, might have had his mitts in the boardroom spy scandal ricocheting around silicon valley. CEO’s have proven slippery though, and it may be hard to stick him with any dastardly deeds. Meanwhile, HP’s stock has turned down.
Zuckenberg and Facebook Ever hear of them? Who or what are they? Your guess is as good as mine, but in that world that no one except the alien brethren among us knows about, Yahoo has offered 22-year-old Mark Zuckenberg $900 million, that’s just a paltry $100 million shy of a billion bucks, for Facebook, a social networking company for college types that lets them gossip, flirt and keep track of parties, those coming, not those in the past, which, presumably college kids of today like those of yesterday want to forget. Yahoo says they will keep Zuckenberg around to run the company as he wants (well maybe not exactly as he wants, but like anyone with $900 million invested might let him).
Another Virgin Sir Richard, already owner of a stable of travel, media, and entertainment virgins, wants that red-hot momma, Earth, to cool down her act, and he’s putting his money where his mouth is. Branson says he will put up $3 billion to develop energy resources that do not contribute to global warming. Hey, I like this guy and the Al Gore guy who helped persuade his thinking, but is Richard being eleemosynary or opportunistic? Keep your eye on alternate energy stocks...maybe you can pocket a buck or two.
No More E.Coli To get the government off their spinach, California growers say they will implement new growing and handling procedures to ensure they don’t ship e.coli infected products. How long did they plan on waiting?
$10 Oranges? The shortage of Mexican laborers caused by America’s crackdown on illegals streaming across the border has left California farmers woefully short of pickers, and their fruit is rotting on the branch. So, $10 oranges? Maybe not, but it ain’t gonna get cheaper. Gracias, Washington amigos, for another failed policy.
Please, Mr. Big Oil, “We would really appreciate it” if you changed your contracts. That’s pretty much the Interior Department’s response to its $12 billion mistake in favor of the oil companies. Of course, not one oil company said boo so I guess they didn’t notice the error either…I mean it’s hard to imagine ‘big oil’ being so disingenuous. Curiously, the Interior Department said it will not try to correct the mistake because it has no leverage against the oil companies and doesn’t want any. HUH? It has also prevented federal auditors from recovering $30 million in deliberate lease underpayments by the oil companies. That’s all for this week, my friends. Stay alert; don’t get uh, twisted!
Friday, September 15, 2006
Dunn Done Despite assertions that she wouldn’t be the scapegoat in the Hewlett-Packard boardroom debacle, Chairwoman Patricia Dunn has been shoved aside, the victim of a lot of bad deeds employed in spying on fellow directors that took place on her watch, some if not all of which were initiated by her. Maybe H-P can now regain its former dignity.
Bitch of the Week: The circus that the media and politicians made out of 9-11. Thank god the tenth anniversary won’t be an election year.
Silver Foot Anne Richards, the biggest Democrat in Texas since LBJ, moved on to that big campaign in the sky this week. She was tough, she was full of life, she was fun, but more than everything else, she coined one of my favorite sayings: “George W. Bush was born with a silver foot in his mouth.” Give ‘em hell up there, Anne!
Dell Hell More than batteries in its laptops may be in a meltdown. Dells profits are in the toilet and the SEC is nosing around because Dell’s financial statements might not be totally accurate. Where have we heard that one before? An old stock buy-back agreement that locks Dell into buying shares at prices considerably higher than current market value isn’t going to help. Stay tuned. I’m not an Apple guy, but maybe an apple a day--well maybe not every day, a little Jobs goes along way--will turn out to be a dose of sage advice.
Hedge Hogs The billionaires running hedge funds want a bigger trough. There is talk of $24.3 billion Fortress Investment Group (would that be FIG for short?) going public, making the billionaire owners into whatever comes after billionaire. I don’t know whether the strategy will work; hedge funds in the past have demonstrated an ability to die from self-inflicted ego wounds, but if you can afford a few shares, you’ll probably make a few bucks because everyone will want to nose in on the action. Don’t wait too long to get out though or you might end up hearing a lot of oinking because there isn’t enough slop to go around.
Tough, Wrinkled M&Ms No, not a new addition to the product line of one of the best candies in the whole world, but Murdoch and Malone, the two tough, battle-scarred old lions of media. Malone’s got something Murdoch covets: 19% of News Corporation; and Murdoch’s got something Malone covets: control of Direct TV. None of this matters a hoot to you and me; unless you somehow think the Tenth Commandment actually applies to business executives, it’s just fun to watch two veterans of corporate conflict stalk each other with a few billion dollars on the table.
ZUNE, ZONE, Gone Any time a company , as Microsoft did this week with the unveiling of Zune, has to describe a music player for teenagers with a string of corporate gobbledygook such as a ‘decidedly social experience’ OR ‘a new platform that helps bring artists closer to their audiences and helps people find new music and develop new social connections’ OR ‘it gives listeners three listens in three days’ OR calls it ‘an extension of other social technologies’ OR says “it turns people into street teams” and then has to have the reporter insert a parented explanation (promoters who try to popularize music through word of mouth), I say you ain’t got a music player baby, you got a big fat turkey.
Does George Speak With Forked Tongue? Under no circumstances should this administration be allowed to rewrite the rules of decency. When will George and Dick understand that the people of the US are not concerned with the US meeting the requirements of the Geneva Convention for decency, the people of the US are concerned that the requirements of the Geneva Convention do not meet US requirements for decency, and anyone, ANYONE, who is guilty of torturing prisoners has to be held accountable. Torture does not provide the information this administration would like us to believe it does, it does nothing but debase our status as a country seeking to make the world a more humane place.
Risky Business As if the prospect of getting killed in a bank robbery wasn’t enough, Russian central banker Andre Kozlov, who was leading efforts to eliminate money laundering and close disreputable banks, and his driver were shot and killed in what is being called a contract killing; they were returning to their car following a soccer game.
Nay Ney Representative Bob Ney, Republican, Ohio, is the first congressman to bite the dust over his ties to corrupt lobbyist Jack Abramoff. Last January, the Republican leadership pressured Ney to give up his post as chairman of the House Administration Committee (office space allotment, cafeteria, other Capital Hill services) by saying, and this is telling, that they feared that the assignment had brought undue scrutiny to the corruption accusations facing Mr. Ney and other Republicans. Huh? Doesn’t corruption and those accused of corruption deserve undue scrutiny?
Thanks, George Clooney! George Clooney, in his address to the UN this week, makes one proud to be an American. He essentially told overpaid UN bureaucrats and their governments to get off their over fat asses or some 2.5 million of the almost forgotten peoples of Darfur will die at an estimated rate 100,000 a month. He said, “So after September 30th, you won't need the UN. You will simply need men with shovels and bleached white linen and headstones." Let us hope and pray that he and others succeed in attracting the needed help. You can do your part by being aware and making others aware.
You Go Google! Ya gotta give the Google guys credit; they shake; they move; but can they make a difference? You want my advice? Don’t bet against them. Their new for profit philanthropy will teach people how to fish rather than giving them fish. A new startup whose efforts are near and dear to my heart is going to try to create a fleet of ethanol/electric/gasoline hybrids that get a cool hundred miles per gallon. The first jock who asks how fast it can go from zero to sixty should be stuffed and mounted in the automobile hall of shame right next to extinct Ford and GM products.
Spinach, E-Coli, and Popeye? What do they have in common? Nothing, unless Popeye ate some bagged, uncooked spinach bought at a store in America that happened to be an e-coli source in which case Bluto would make off with Olive Oyl, Swee’Pea would become an undisciplined delinquent, and Popeye would have a lot of dribble on his chin. DON’T EAT BAGGED SPINACH, DON'T COOK BAGGED SPINACH, DON'T WASH BAGGED SPINACH, THROW IT AWAY until this whole e-coli bacteria thing is cleared up. IF YOU HAVE EATEN SOME AND HAVE DIARRHEA OR OTHERWISE DON'T FEEL WELL, GET TO THE ER PRONTO!
That’s all for this week, my friends. Stay alert; don’t get uh, twisted!
Bitch of the Week: The circus that the media and politicians made out of 9-11. Thank god the tenth anniversary won’t be an election year.
Silver Foot Anne Richards, the biggest Democrat in Texas since LBJ, moved on to that big campaign in the sky this week. She was tough, she was full of life, she was fun, but more than everything else, she coined one of my favorite sayings: “George W. Bush was born with a silver foot in his mouth.” Give ‘em hell up there, Anne!
Dell Hell More than batteries in its laptops may be in a meltdown. Dells profits are in the toilet and the SEC is nosing around because Dell’s financial statements might not be totally accurate. Where have we heard that one before? An old stock buy-back agreement that locks Dell into buying shares at prices considerably higher than current market value isn’t going to help. Stay tuned. I’m not an Apple guy, but maybe an apple a day--well maybe not every day, a little Jobs goes along way--will turn out to be a dose of sage advice.
Hedge Hogs The billionaires running hedge funds want a bigger trough. There is talk of $24.3 billion Fortress Investment Group (would that be FIG for short?) going public, making the billionaire owners into whatever comes after billionaire. I don’t know whether the strategy will work; hedge funds in the past have demonstrated an ability to die from self-inflicted ego wounds, but if you can afford a few shares, you’ll probably make a few bucks because everyone will want to nose in on the action. Don’t wait too long to get out though or you might end up hearing a lot of oinking because there isn’t enough slop to go around.
Tough, Wrinkled M&Ms No, not a new addition to the product line of one of the best candies in the whole world, but Murdoch and Malone, the two tough, battle-scarred old lions of media. Malone’s got something Murdoch covets: 19% of News Corporation; and Murdoch’s got something Malone covets: control of Direct TV. None of this matters a hoot to you and me; unless you somehow think the Tenth Commandment actually applies to business executives, it’s just fun to watch two veterans of corporate conflict stalk each other with a few billion dollars on the table.
ZUNE, ZONE, Gone Any time a company , as Microsoft did this week with the unveiling of Zune, has to describe a music player for teenagers with a string of corporate gobbledygook such as a ‘decidedly social experience’ OR ‘a new platform that helps bring artists closer to their audiences and helps people find new music and develop new social connections’ OR ‘it gives listeners three listens in three days’ OR calls it ‘an extension of other social technologies’ OR says “it turns people into street teams” and then has to have the reporter insert a parented explanation (promoters who try to popularize music through word of mouth), I say you ain’t got a music player baby, you got a big fat turkey.
Does George Speak With Forked Tongue? Under no circumstances should this administration be allowed to rewrite the rules of decency. When will George and Dick understand that the people of the US are not concerned with the US meeting the requirements of the Geneva Convention for decency, the people of the US are concerned that the requirements of the Geneva Convention do not meet US requirements for decency, and anyone, ANYONE, who is guilty of torturing prisoners has to be held accountable. Torture does not provide the information this administration would like us to believe it does, it does nothing but debase our status as a country seeking to make the world a more humane place.
Risky Business As if the prospect of getting killed in a bank robbery wasn’t enough, Russian central banker Andre Kozlov, who was leading efforts to eliminate money laundering and close disreputable banks, and his driver were shot and killed in what is being called a contract killing; they were returning to their car following a soccer game.
Nay Ney Representative Bob Ney, Republican, Ohio, is the first congressman to bite the dust over his ties to corrupt lobbyist Jack Abramoff. Last January, the Republican leadership pressured Ney to give up his post as chairman of the House Administration Committee (office space allotment, cafeteria, other Capital Hill services) by saying, and this is telling, that they feared that the assignment had brought undue scrutiny to the corruption accusations facing Mr. Ney and other Republicans. Huh? Doesn’t corruption and those accused of corruption deserve undue scrutiny?
Thanks, George Clooney! George Clooney, in his address to the UN this week, makes one proud to be an American. He essentially told overpaid UN bureaucrats and their governments to get off their over fat asses or some 2.5 million of the almost forgotten peoples of Darfur will die at an estimated rate 100,000 a month. He said, “So after September 30th, you won't need the UN. You will simply need men with shovels and bleached white linen and headstones." Let us hope and pray that he and others succeed in attracting the needed help. You can do your part by being aware and making others aware.
You Go Google! Ya gotta give the Google guys credit; they shake; they move; but can they make a difference? You want my advice? Don’t bet against them. Their new for profit philanthropy will teach people how to fish rather than giving them fish. A new startup whose efforts are near and dear to my heart is going to try to create a fleet of ethanol/electric/gasoline hybrids that get a cool hundred miles per gallon. The first jock who asks how fast it can go from zero to sixty should be stuffed and mounted in the automobile hall of shame right next to extinct Ford and GM products.
Spinach, E-Coli, and Popeye? What do they have in common? Nothing, unless Popeye ate some bagged, uncooked spinach bought at a store in America that happened to be an e-coli source in which case Bluto would make off with Olive Oyl, Swee’Pea would become an undisciplined delinquent, and Popeye would have a lot of dribble on his chin. DON’T EAT BAGGED SPINACH, DON'T COOK BAGGED SPINACH, DON'T WASH BAGGED SPINACH, THROW IT AWAY until this whole e-coli bacteria thing is cleared up. IF YOU HAVE EATEN SOME AND HAVE DIARRHEA OR OTHERWISE DON'T FEEL WELL, GET TO THE ER PRONTO!
That’s all for this week, my friends. Stay alert; don’t get uh, twisted!
Friday, September 08, 2006
Drug Lord Housing? Now it seems that with the Afghan opium harvest at all time high record levels, the epicenter of this painfully profitable, war mongering Taliban murder machine is none other than Lashkar Gah, a modern city, the largest development project in Afghanistan’s history, called Little America by the Afghans. Why do they call it Little America? Because it was built by Americans with American dollars, THAT’S EFFING WHY!
Condoms Behind Bars Even with the AIDS infection rate five times that of the general population, in a number of states condoms aren’t readily available to inmates who want them. In fact, California lawmakers more intent on morality issues (don’t ask because I don’t have a clue) than in the prisoners’ safety and the safety of those with whom prisoners come in contact (the willing and the unwilling) once they leave prison don’t think condoms should be made available. Is this the dumbest thing you heard this week, or am I missing something?
Knock! Knock! “Who’s there?” Karl Rove. “Who?” Karl’s White House dummy and Dickie the bad might still be listening, but it seems an increasing number of Republicans are shutting their ears to Rove Speak. About time.
Happy Birthday! Blow out the Candles! Make a Wish! Here Come De Judge! That’s about how Lord Black’s sixty-second birthday party went. Included in his gifts was a Marvera order that curtails the lord and lady’s monthly allowance to C$25,000 each, all expenditures to be approved by the court. I feel sorry for them, don’t you? I mean, having to get by on so little. They’re used to dropping ten times that much, but of course it might have been pissed off shareholders money, part of the reason for the Marvera order. Black, accused of fraud and all other sorts of nasty deeds, is the deposed head of a newspaper empire.
Presto! Changeo! Guantanamo! With a flip of his political wrist, George the Illusionist made secret prisons, whose existence had been vociferously denied, suddenly appear; whisked fourteen so-called high-profile terrorist suspects (though I don’t why they call them high profile if no one other than spy guys has ever heard of them) being held in said secret prisons off to that bastion of human rights, Guantanamo; then just as suddenly made the secret prisons disappear again. It seems these fourteen prisoners will now be treated as humans now that the CIA and foreign agents have what they want. Hey, I don’t like terrorists either, but I’m damned sure not in favor of torture, our government lying to us about secret prisons and tortured prisoners; and cover-ups. Ya gotta ask: What other tricks does George the Illusionist have up his pre-election sleeve?
Hercule Poirot? No, Hewlett Packard. After the shenanigans revealed at Hewlett-Packard this past week, Agatha Christie might want to ink a new series. Leaks, guys in raincoats wearing dark glasses and fedoras worn low on the forehead, deals and side deals, cloak and dagger investigations, clashes, lawsuits, criminal charges, a disgruntled board member giving the board one finger and doing a lot of pointing with another; it doesn’t get any better than this. That sound you hear is the collective drool of corporate intrigue novelists sharpening their pencils.
Rotten Eighty-Two-Year Old Kid? Has Brooke Astor’s eighty-two-year old son, Anthony Marshall, been ripping off the estate in favor of his own pockets and lavish life-style? His son Phillip and JP Morgan Chase bank seem to think so, maybe to the tune of $25 million or so, and are pressing the issue in court. Marshall says the bank has shown unrelenting hostility, and one of his lawyers said, “It is a completely bogus and bloated claim that just piles on the kitchen sink, indiscriminately.” Huh? Well, piling up on the kitchen sink or not, it is all such a tawdry chapter in the life of a great and generous philanthropist who, at age 104 and ailing, will always be known as one of New York City’s most gracious ladies.
Wal-Mart, We Love You $o, $o Much It’s getting so you can’t trust anyone these days. Wait a minute, did I say ‘getting’; baby, we passed ‘getting’ a long time ago. It seems conservative research groups like the American Enterprise Institute, Heritage Foundation, and the Manhattan Institute, aggressive defenders of Wal-Mart to reporters and government, have been getting big bucks from the Walton Family Foundation run by Wal-Mart founder Sam Walton’s three children. Hey, we’re talking conservative research groups here; what did we expect? The problem is non-disclosure. We know what’s going on; we know your pulling a scumbag scam; just remind us once in a while.
Metro-Goldwyn-Amazon? There’s a raft of companies, Amazon now included, that want you to download movies on your PC. How can they hope to compete without lousy ten dollar popcorn and sodas, broken and dirty seats, and people talking on cellphones? It just won’t be the same.
Corporate Crook Update Bernie Ebbers, 65, deposed as CEO of WorldCom because of orchestrating a paltry $11 billion accounting fraud, has run out of wiggle room. On September 26th, he reports for twenty-five-year duty at a yet to be named prison. Let’s see: 65 + 25 = 90. Hmmm?
Microsoft Plays Scare Card Microsoft said regulators pushing the anti-trust suit against Microsoft in Europe might cause a delay in the release of Windows Vista in Europe because of unclear guidelines. If only we could be so lucky. My XP still isn’t working right. In fact, it’s getting worse. Maybe it has built in obsolescence, or maybe it’s suffering from Microsoft reaching out in the dark of night and unleashing little Gatesean bugs under the guise of auto update.
Blair Benched! Tony’s boys give him the old thumbs down. He says he’ll leave within the year, but on his own timetable. We shall see.
That’s all for this week, my friends. Stay alert; don’t get screwed!
Condoms Behind Bars Even with the AIDS infection rate five times that of the general population, in a number of states condoms aren’t readily available to inmates who want them. In fact, California lawmakers more intent on morality issues (don’t ask because I don’t have a clue) than in the prisoners’ safety and the safety of those with whom prisoners come in contact (the willing and the unwilling) once they leave prison don’t think condoms should be made available. Is this the dumbest thing you heard this week, or am I missing something?
Knock! Knock! “Who’s there?” Karl Rove. “Who?” Karl’s White House dummy and Dickie the bad might still be listening, but it seems an increasing number of Republicans are shutting their ears to Rove Speak. About time.
Happy Birthday! Blow out the Candles! Make a Wish! Here Come De Judge! That’s about how Lord Black’s sixty-second birthday party went. Included in his gifts was a Marvera order that curtails the lord and lady’s monthly allowance to C$25,000 each, all expenditures to be approved by the court. I feel sorry for them, don’t you? I mean, having to get by on so little. They’re used to dropping ten times that much, but of course it might have been pissed off shareholders money, part of the reason for the Marvera order. Black, accused of fraud and all other sorts of nasty deeds, is the deposed head of a newspaper empire.
Presto! Changeo! Guantanamo! With a flip of his political wrist, George the Illusionist made secret prisons, whose existence had been vociferously denied, suddenly appear; whisked fourteen so-called high-profile terrorist suspects (though I don’t why they call them high profile if no one other than spy guys has ever heard of them) being held in said secret prisons off to that bastion of human rights, Guantanamo; then just as suddenly made the secret prisons disappear again. It seems these fourteen prisoners will now be treated as humans now that the CIA and foreign agents have what they want. Hey, I don’t like terrorists either, but I’m damned sure not in favor of torture, our government lying to us about secret prisons and tortured prisoners; and cover-ups. Ya gotta ask: What other tricks does George the Illusionist have up his pre-election sleeve?
Hercule Poirot? No, Hewlett Packard. After the shenanigans revealed at Hewlett-Packard this past week, Agatha Christie might want to ink a new series. Leaks, guys in raincoats wearing dark glasses and fedoras worn low on the forehead, deals and side deals, cloak and dagger investigations, clashes, lawsuits, criminal charges, a disgruntled board member giving the board one finger and doing a lot of pointing with another; it doesn’t get any better than this. That sound you hear is the collective drool of corporate intrigue novelists sharpening their pencils.
Rotten Eighty-Two-Year Old Kid? Has Brooke Astor’s eighty-two-year old son, Anthony Marshall, been ripping off the estate in favor of his own pockets and lavish life-style? His son Phillip and JP Morgan Chase bank seem to think so, maybe to the tune of $25 million or so, and are pressing the issue in court. Marshall says the bank has shown unrelenting hostility, and one of his lawyers said, “It is a completely bogus and bloated claim that just piles on the kitchen sink, indiscriminately.” Huh? Well, piling up on the kitchen sink or not, it is all such a tawdry chapter in the life of a great and generous philanthropist who, at age 104 and ailing, will always be known as one of New York City’s most gracious ladies.
Wal-Mart, We Love You $o, $o Much It’s getting so you can’t trust anyone these days. Wait a minute, did I say ‘getting’; baby, we passed ‘getting’ a long time ago. It seems conservative research groups like the American Enterprise Institute, Heritage Foundation, and the Manhattan Institute, aggressive defenders of Wal-Mart to reporters and government, have been getting big bucks from the Walton Family Foundation run by Wal-Mart founder Sam Walton’s three children. Hey, we’re talking conservative research groups here; what did we expect? The problem is non-disclosure. We know what’s going on; we know your pulling a scumbag scam; just remind us once in a while.
Metro-Goldwyn-Amazon? There’s a raft of companies, Amazon now included, that want you to download movies on your PC. How can they hope to compete without lousy ten dollar popcorn and sodas, broken and dirty seats, and people talking on cellphones? It just won’t be the same.
Corporate Crook Update Bernie Ebbers, 65, deposed as CEO of WorldCom because of orchestrating a paltry $11 billion accounting fraud, has run out of wiggle room. On September 26th, he reports for twenty-five-year duty at a yet to be named prison. Let’s see: 65 + 25 = 90. Hmmm?
Microsoft Plays Scare Card Microsoft said regulators pushing the anti-trust suit against Microsoft in Europe might cause a delay in the release of Windows Vista in Europe because of unclear guidelines. If only we could be so lucky. My XP still isn’t working right. In fact, it’s getting worse. Maybe it has built in obsolescence, or maybe it’s suffering from Microsoft reaching out in the dark of night and unleashing little Gatesean bugs under the guise of auto update.
Blair Benched! Tony’s boys give him the old thumbs down. He says he’ll leave within the year, but on his own timetable. We shall see.
That’s all for this week, my friends. Stay alert; don’t get screwed!
Friday, September 01, 2006
Good Job, Well Done! If one accepts the premise that Bush and Rumsfeld, under Cheney's watchful eye, are employed by the Pentagon and Big Oil to ensure the war in Iraq continues by constantly suggesting that anything as intelligent and humane as troop withdrawal will have terrorists raining down on American cities, then they are earning their money.
There Ought To Be A Law! Speaking of money, with first year lawyers in the Big Apple finding $145,000 in their annual pay envelopes, pro bono work, and that includes politics, is looking a lot less attractive.
Bond, James Bond. I, for one, am glad that Ford is selling Aston Martin. The panache of James with the latest busty Bond babe whipping down a treacherous mountain road in a Ford just didn't cut it.
Rich Man, Poor Man. Well hardly poor, but on the heels of lopping $40 billion off his estate and giving the proceeds to Bill and Melinda Gates charitable foundations , Berkshire Hathaway's septuagenarian Warren Buffet this past Wednesday said "I do" to his twenty-year companion who, at sixty, is sixteen years his junior. If you own BH stock, you'll be happy to know it closed at $96,097 per share (yes, you read it right) yesterday, no doubt because it was an intimate, inexpensive wedding.
Village Voice, How Come You is Talking Funny? Since the October 2005 merger with Phoenix-based New Times Media, Village Voice, the epitome of alternative media, is losing a lot of the great artistic people who made it what it was. Some are being pink-slipped, and others are leaving amid distrust, disgust, and dismay. How long will it take for the once great Voice to become nothing but another plastic peep?
Who’s Sorry Now? Politicians, racing like lemmings at light speed toward November elections, are falling all over themselves to tell us how sorry they are for past sins, and a lot, like lemmings, will not be back. We don't want sorry; we want honest representation that won't be squashed under the big fat thumbs of big fat lobbyists.
Marx My Words! For shame! China is rewriting its high school history books, eliminating a lot of Marxist references that aren't complicit with present economic and political objectives. We can be proud that we would never tolerate history revisionism for political and economic reasons in this country.
FOK? (Friend of Karl) So Kenneth Y. (what does the Y stand for?) Tomlinson, a Bushie buddy in charge of the Voice of America and Radio Free Europe, who last year got booted out of Corporation for Public Broadcasting for trying to politicize programming, is running a horse racing operation from his office and has improperly put a friend on the government payroll. And Bush still supports his nomination for another term as Chairman of the Broadcasting Board of Governors? FOK!
O Canada, We Stand On Armed Guard For Thee… If you plan on crashing the Canadian border, you had better do so before September 2007. That's when Canada will begin arming its border guards, another example of how the NRA and like associations and arms dealers are helping win the war against terrorists and making us feel all warm and cozy. Take heart, though, because only 150 Canadian border guards will get their Rambo badges the first year.
Nuclear Iran or Nuke Iran; That is the Question. Next to Iran, Iraq's WMD (remember them) capability is laughable. But is Iran intent on making nuclear weapons? Some parts of the world, notably the part we live in, think so. Enola Gay, I ask you, how will this dilemma be resolved?
The Terminator! Big Arnold took a swipe at greenhouse gasses, demanding mandatory rather than the Bush favored voluntary caps. Let's see: Bush plan – big business self-regulates for the good of the people; Arnold's plan, government forces big business to obey the laws for the good of the people. Tough one, eh?
Birds of a Feather? Isn't it interesting that Kenneth G. Langone, co-founder and director of Home Depot who served on the committee governing stock options, and who is being pushed to resign for stock option grant improprieties at Home Depot, is one of ex-NYSE head greedy Grasso's biggest defenders. Langone led Grasso's hand-picked compensation committee. Hmmm!
Gwyllyn Samuel Newton Ford May 1, 1916 – August 30, 2006. Superman's father and a lot of other great stuff. Thanks! Good job! Well done!
There Ought To Be A Law! Speaking of money, with first year lawyers in the Big Apple finding $145,000 in their annual pay envelopes, pro bono work, and that includes politics, is looking a lot less attractive.
Bond, James Bond. I, for one, am glad that Ford is selling Aston Martin. The panache of James with the latest busty Bond babe whipping down a treacherous mountain road in a Ford just didn't cut it.
Rich Man, Poor Man. Well hardly poor, but on the heels of lopping $40 billion off his estate and giving the proceeds to Bill and Melinda Gates charitable foundations , Berkshire Hathaway's septuagenarian Warren Buffet this past Wednesday said "I do" to his twenty-year companion who, at sixty, is sixteen years his junior. If you own BH stock, you'll be happy to know it closed at $96,097 per share (yes, you read it right) yesterday, no doubt because it was an intimate, inexpensive wedding.
Village Voice, How Come You is Talking Funny? Since the October 2005 merger with Phoenix-based New Times Media, Village Voice, the epitome of alternative media, is losing a lot of the great artistic people who made it what it was. Some are being pink-slipped, and others are leaving amid distrust, disgust, and dismay. How long will it take for the once great Voice to become nothing but another plastic peep?
Who’s Sorry Now? Politicians, racing like lemmings at light speed toward November elections, are falling all over themselves to tell us how sorry they are for past sins, and a lot, like lemmings, will not be back. We don't want sorry; we want honest representation that won't be squashed under the big fat thumbs of big fat lobbyists.
Marx My Words! For shame! China is rewriting its high school history books, eliminating a lot of Marxist references that aren't complicit with present economic and political objectives. We can be proud that we would never tolerate history revisionism for political and economic reasons in this country.
FOK? (Friend of Karl) So Kenneth Y. (what does the Y stand for?) Tomlinson, a Bushie buddy in charge of the Voice of America and Radio Free Europe, who last year got booted out of Corporation for Public Broadcasting for trying to politicize programming, is running a horse racing operation from his office and has improperly put a friend on the government payroll. And Bush still supports his nomination for another term as Chairman of the Broadcasting Board of Governors? FOK!O Canada, We Stand On Armed Guard For Thee… If you plan on crashing the Canadian border, you had better do so before September 2007. That's when Canada will begin arming its border guards, another example of how the NRA and like associations and arms dealers are helping win the war against terrorists and making us feel all warm and cozy. Take heart, though, because only 150 Canadian border guards will get their Rambo badges the first year.
Nuclear Iran or Nuke Iran; That is the Question. Next to Iran, Iraq's WMD (remember them) capability is laughable. But is Iran intent on making nuclear weapons? Some parts of the world, notably the part we live in, think so. Enola Gay, I ask you, how will this dilemma be resolved?
The Terminator! Big Arnold took a swipe at greenhouse gasses, demanding mandatory rather than the Bush favored voluntary caps. Let's see: Bush plan – big business self-regulates for the good of the people; Arnold's plan, government forces big business to obey the laws for the good of the people. Tough one, eh?
Birds of a Feather? Isn't it interesting that Kenneth G. Langone, co-founder and director of Home Depot who served on the committee governing stock options, and who is being pushed to resign for stock option grant improprieties at Home Depot, is one of ex-NYSE head greedy Grasso's biggest defenders. Langone led Grasso's hand-picked compensation committee. Hmmm!
Gwyllyn Samuel Newton Ford May 1, 1916 – August 30, 2006. Superman's father and a lot of other great stuff. Thanks! Good job! Well done!
Friday, August 25, 2006
Bad Apple! Last week, Dell got smoked and announced a 4.1 million battery recall before its users got incinerated because of lousy Sony lithium ion batteries. This week Apple decided to lasso 1.8 million apple heads before they got baked. The culprit is again Sony’s lithium ion batteries. Here’s a question: what battery does Sony use in its laptops?
Have You Driven A Citigroup Lately? Robert Rubin, former Treasury Secretary and now Chairman of Citigroup resigned from Ford’s board because of potential conflict of interest problems. Does this mean that Citigroup is about to pull the plug on its loans to Ford? What other potential conflicts does a banker have? I doubt it has anything to do with annoying rattles that the service department can’t find.
Made In Japan? For once, it isn’t a shady US company selling nuclear weapons parts to hostile governments. A handful (that’s five) of Mitutoyo Corp. execs were arrested for suspicious behavior like selling the Malaysians bomb making stuff.
Hong Kong Big Mac Bong! The Hong Kong Chamber of Commerce can’t be happy that three hoods with baseball caps bearing wooden batons beat the crap out of one of its leading litigators against debt collection and gambling, two big crime-magnet industries. We weren’t told if the hoods had a Big Mac or which baseball team they favored. Of far greater concern: is the rule of law in post-Britain Hong Kong being eroded?
War Nonsense How’s that again: the US says cluster bombs it sold to Israel that Israel then dropped all over Lebanon weren’t supposed to be used that way. What did the US expect Israel to do: use them as planters?
Not So Fast! Peru’s congress observed a moment’s silence for hospitalized former president Valentin Paniagua after a lawmaker reported Paniagua had died. Mr. Paniagua’s doctor moved quickly to point out that not only had Mr. Paniagua not gone to that great congress in the sky but that his condition had actually improved. Now if we could just figure out how to so remarkably improve the health of our congress...
EEOC Muslim Style In Bagh, Kashmir, where a massive earthquake struck last October, enlightened Muslim clerics are saying relief agencies will face “direct action and extreme steps” if they don’t fire all their female employees, despite tens of thousands of homeless still living in refugee camps.
This Guy Gets My Vote. A prominent Shiite cleric in Iraq told lawmakers to stay home and try to improve the lives of ordinary citizens rather than gallivant around the world.
Baloney! Ever think it strange that the preeminent place to study law is the University of Bologna?
Have You Driven A Citigroup Lately? Robert Rubin, former Treasury Secretary and now Chairman of Citigroup resigned from Ford’s board because of potential conflict of interest problems. Does this mean that Citigroup is about to pull the plug on its loans to Ford? What other potential conflicts does a banker have? I doubt it has anything to do with annoying rattles that the service department can’t find.
Made In Japan? For once, it isn’t a shady US company selling nuclear weapons parts to hostile governments. A handful (that’s five) of Mitutoyo Corp. execs were arrested for suspicious behavior like selling the Malaysians bomb making stuff.
Hong Kong Big Mac Bong! The Hong Kong Chamber of Commerce can’t be happy that three hoods with baseball caps bearing wooden batons beat the crap out of one of its leading litigators against debt collection and gambling, two big crime-magnet industries. We weren’t told if the hoods had a Big Mac or which baseball team they favored. Of far greater concern: is the rule of law in post-Britain Hong Kong being eroded?
War Nonsense How’s that again: the US says cluster bombs it sold to Israel that Israel then dropped all over Lebanon weren’t supposed to be used that way. What did the US expect Israel to do: use them as planters?
Not So Fast! Peru’s congress observed a moment’s silence for hospitalized former president Valentin Paniagua after a lawmaker reported Paniagua had died. Mr. Paniagua’s doctor moved quickly to point out that not only had Mr. Paniagua not gone to that great congress in the sky but that his condition had actually improved. Now if we could just figure out how to so remarkably improve the health of our congress...EEOC Muslim Style In Bagh, Kashmir, where a massive earthquake struck last October, enlightened Muslim clerics are saying relief agencies will face “direct action and extreme steps” if they don’t fire all their female employees, despite tens of thousands of homeless still living in refugee camps.
This Guy Gets My Vote. A prominent Shiite cleric in Iraq told lawmakers to stay home and try to improve the lives of ordinary citizens rather than gallivant around the world.
Baloney! Ever think it strange that the preeminent place to study law is the University of Bologna?
Saturday, August 19, 2006
Crystal Clear With goodie baskets for Academy Award presenters and performers getting into the serious money category, $100,000, about two or three times the average paycheck for us working stiffs, the IRS has decided to add a wee token of its own, a 1099. No wonder Billy decided to duck out on his hosting gig. Like he needs a 1099 for $100,000 worth of crap he doesn’t need or want screwing up his eight figure income.
Merck’s Vioxx & Shareholders Get Another Heart Attack I’m not a big fan of big drugs because of the way they rip off the US health care system, but when a retired FBI guy who gets involved in an auto accident then starts taking Vioxx and has a heart attack gets a $50million jury award, you gotta ask yourself if the system’s gone a little nuts. Might not the fact of his previous employment and the accident been contributing factors?
Speaking Of Drug Company Heart Attacks – Bristol-Myers Squibb, maker of heart drug Plavix (U.S. sales last year - $3.5 billion), and Sanofi-Aventis, Bristol’s marketing partner, have reportedly been using trickery and bribery and other scandalous doings to stop Canadian generic drug maker, Apotex, who might also have been a party to the trickery and bribery and other scandalous doings, from selling a cheaper generic version of Plavix in the U.S. Did big bucks change hands? Were secret agreements made? Did Bristol-Myers Squibb and Sanofi-Aventis try to screw Apotex, or did Apotex try to screw Bristol-Myers Squibb and Sanofi-Aventis, or was the screwing mutual. Stay tuned.
Should Washed Up CEO’s Get Same Treatment As Washed Up Ballplayers?
Michael J. Burns of Team Dana (Dana declared bankruptcy in March this year) doesn’t think so. He wants $3 million for hanging around until Dana’s coffin is in the ground, $ 3 million more if Dana’s value doesn’t drop from where it is now (the way CEO’s cook the books these days, you can bet it wont drop a dime), and hands off his $5.9 million pension. I say trade the bums, throw the bums out!
The Mel & Andy Show: First it was Mad Max Mel getting soused and blaming all the world’s problems on the Jews (doubtless something he learned from Passion of the Christ). For thinking he could drive in his drunken state (sound familiar), he gets three years probation and has to attend AA for a year. OK, fair enough, though I’d have put a breath analyzer on his starter, but what about the anti-Semitism? What does he get for that?
Now Andrew Young, civil rights leader, former mayor of Atlanta and former US representative to the UN (you know, the world peace people), hired six months ago by Wal-Mart as chairman of Working Families, a Wal-Mart attempt to improve its public image, told an African-American newspaper, the Los Angeles Sentinel, that Wal-Mart should displace mom-and-pop stores in urban neighborhoods because “You see those are the people who have been overcharging us, and they sold out and moved to Florida. I think they’ve ripped off our communities enough. First it was Jews, then it was Koreans and now it’s Arabs.” (I guess he doesn’t realize that Wal-Mart, known to many as the substandard wage and benefit company, employs, but some counts, a quarter million blacks).Young apologized, retracted his comments, and resigned as chairman of Working Families. Wal-Mart shouldn’t have given him the option and publicly booted his bigoted ass out the door.
You know what I think? I think Mel and Andy need to spend a year helping the Jews and Arabs rebuild in northern Israel and southern Lebanon then Andy can go on to Korea and solve the nuclear Kim’s problems.
Click, Click That familiar sound of W listening in on your calls might soon disappear. Judge Anna Diggs Taylor of the US District Court in Detroit told the NSA to hang up, that Jefferson and his cronies never intended to give W that much power. Good for Judge Taylor, but she forgot one critical point: W takes his instructions from a higher authority.
Questions Of The Week
1. Do you believe this whacko, John Karr, who recently crawled out from under his rock, killed JonBenet Ramsey?
2. How long ago did a federal judge order strict limitations on tobacco marketing as punishment for big tobacco companies’ decades-old conspiracy to deceive the public about the dangers of smoking: (a) one week, (b) one year, (c) ten years? (Answer at bottom)
3. What do $300 (+) billion and $65.6 billion have in common? The first was Time Warner’s value in January 2000 after its merger with AOL; the latter is Time Warner’s value today now that most of AOL’s deceptive bookkeeping has been properly accounted for or at least that’s what all the crossed fingers in TW hope.
Two Women Screw Shareholders & Soldiers: Dawn Schlegel & Sandra Hatfield, execs at DHB Industries, got thrown into chains (alas, since released on bond) for reaping $8 million in profits from jacking around with the books, driving the stock priced up, and selling before the shit hit the fan. OK, bad enough, but far worse, DHB had juicy contracts to supply our soldiers in Iraq with bullet-proof vests whose quality and adequacy have been called into question. These people, along with David H. Brooks, the company’s founder and former CEO, are not only crooks, but traitors. They should not be out on bond; they should not be allowed to ever again take a free step, unless on the front lines in Iraq behind one of their crappy vests.
Nude Air - Coming Soon To An Airport Near You Isn’t that the answer? The new X-Ray machines aren’t leaving a thingy to the imagination, and the lamebrain idea that airport security people can determine passenger emotions by looking at their faces is right up there with duct tape.
Correct answer to Question Of The Week #2 above is (a).The ruling was made this week by Judge Gladys Kessler of Federal District Court for the District of Columbia.
Stupid me, I thought this issue had been resolved ten years ago. Says something about the tobacco lobby.
Merck’s Vioxx & Shareholders Get Another Heart Attack I’m not a big fan of big drugs because of the way they rip off the US health care system, but when a retired FBI guy who gets involved in an auto accident then starts taking Vioxx and has a heart attack gets a $50million jury award, you gotta ask yourself if the system’s gone a little nuts. Might not the fact of his previous employment and the accident been contributing factors?
Speaking Of Drug Company Heart Attacks – Bristol-Myers Squibb, maker of heart drug Plavix (U.S. sales last year - $3.5 billion), and Sanofi-Aventis, Bristol’s marketing partner, have reportedly been using trickery and bribery and other scandalous doings to stop Canadian generic drug maker, Apotex, who might also have been a party to the trickery and bribery and other scandalous doings, from selling a cheaper generic version of Plavix in the U.S. Did big bucks change hands? Were secret agreements made? Did Bristol-Myers Squibb and Sanofi-Aventis try to screw Apotex, or did Apotex try to screw Bristol-Myers Squibb and Sanofi-Aventis, or was the screwing mutual. Stay tuned.
Should Washed Up CEO’s Get Same Treatment As Washed Up Ballplayers?
Michael J. Burns of Team Dana (Dana declared bankruptcy in March this year) doesn’t think so. He wants $3 million for hanging around until Dana’s coffin is in the ground, $ 3 million more if Dana’s value doesn’t drop from where it is now (the way CEO’s cook the books these days, you can bet it wont drop a dime), and hands off his $5.9 million pension. I say trade the bums, throw the bums out!
The Mel & Andy Show: First it was Mad Max Mel getting soused and blaming all the world’s problems on the Jews (doubtless something he learned from Passion of the Christ). For thinking he could drive in his drunken state (sound familiar), he gets three years probation and has to attend AA for a year. OK, fair enough, though I’d have put a breath analyzer on his starter, but what about the anti-Semitism? What does he get for that?
Now Andrew Young, civil rights leader, former mayor of Atlanta and former US representative to the UN (you know, the world peace people), hired six months ago by Wal-Mart as chairman of Working Families, a Wal-Mart attempt to improve its public image, told an African-American newspaper, the Los Angeles Sentinel, that Wal-Mart should displace mom-and-pop stores in urban neighborhoods because “You see those are the people who have been overcharging us, and they sold out and moved to Florida. I think they’ve ripped off our communities enough. First it was Jews, then it was Koreans and now it’s Arabs.” (I guess he doesn’t realize that Wal-Mart, known to many as the substandard wage and benefit company, employs, but some counts, a quarter million blacks).Young apologized, retracted his comments, and resigned as chairman of Working Families. Wal-Mart shouldn’t have given him the option and publicly booted his bigoted ass out the door.
You know what I think? I think Mel and Andy need to spend a year helping the Jews and Arabs rebuild in northern Israel and southern Lebanon then Andy can go on to Korea and solve the nuclear Kim’s problems.
Click, Click That familiar sound of W listening in on your calls might soon disappear. Judge Anna Diggs Taylor of the US District Court in Detroit told the NSA to hang up, that Jefferson and his cronies never intended to give W that much power. Good for Judge Taylor, but she forgot one critical point: W takes his instructions from a higher authority.
Questions Of The Week
1. Do you believe this whacko, John Karr, who recently crawled out from under his rock, killed JonBenet Ramsey?
2. How long ago did a federal judge order strict limitations on tobacco marketing as punishment for big tobacco companies’ decades-old conspiracy to deceive the public about the dangers of smoking: (a) one week, (b) one year, (c) ten years? (Answer at bottom)
3. What do $300 (+) billion and $65.6 billion have in common? The first was Time Warner’s value in January 2000 after its merger with AOL; the latter is Time Warner’s value today now that most of AOL’s deceptive bookkeeping has been properly accounted for or at least that’s what all the crossed fingers in TW hope.
Two Women Screw Shareholders & Soldiers: Dawn Schlegel & Sandra Hatfield, execs at DHB Industries, got thrown into chains (alas, since released on bond) for reaping $8 million in profits from jacking around with the books, driving the stock priced up, and selling before the shit hit the fan. OK, bad enough, but far worse, DHB had juicy contracts to supply our soldiers in Iraq with bullet-proof vests whose quality and adequacy have been called into question. These people, along with David H. Brooks, the company’s founder and former CEO, are not only crooks, but traitors. They should not be out on bond; they should not be allowed to ever again take a free step, unless on the front lines in Iraq behind one of their crappy vests.
Nude Air - Coming Soon To An Airport Near You Isn’t that the answer? The new X-Ray machines aren’t leaving a thingy to the imagination, and the lamebrain idea that airport security people can determine passenger emotions by looking at their faces is right up there with duct tape.
Correct answer to Question Of The Week #2 above is (a).The ruling was made this week by Judge Gladys Kessler of Federal District Court for the District of Columbia.
Stupid me, I thought this issue had been resolved ten years ago. Says something about the tobacco lobby.
Friday, August 11, 2006
Ya Got Terror, My Friend, Right Here In River City… I decided to Google 'define terrorist'. Interestingly, the first definition begins thusly: One who utilizes the systematic use of violence and intimidation to achieve political objectives, while disguised as a civilian non-combatant…Yes my friends, ya got trouble, right here in River City, with a capital T, and that rhymes with P, and that stands for Politics. (With a tip of Robert Preston's hat, a flip of his Music Man baton, and apologies to Meredith Wilson for massaging his wonderful words; somehow I don't think he would have minded.)
Am Not! Are Too! A sandbox squabble? Not quite, but Atmel (NASDAQ $5.24) has a squabble of its own going on. Sometime last fall, when Chairman and CEO George Perlegos got fired by his five independent directors, he said something to the effect that you can't fire me because I already fired you. If you happen to be in Delaware next month, you might want to sit in as the trial gets underway. Maybe the judge will jump up and yell, "And so's your old man."
What's Wrong With This Statement? "David Einhorn, a hedge fund manager, does not play much poker…" By definition, hedge fund managers bet billions every day. Perhaps when Einhorn entered the World Series of Poker in Las Vegas, no one should have been surprised. P.S. He came in 18th and won $650,000. Will he surprise his hedge fund clients share by handing over his winnings?
You Got To Know When To Hold 'Em, Know When To Fold Em… Offshore BetOnSports, buffeted by US charges of illegal Internet gambling, decides to fold, with its ex CEO in jail in St. Louis and the Feds looking around to grab anyone else they can get their hands on. Looks like BOS will take its game to Asia where presumably what they do isn't deemed to be illegal and there are probably a couple billion more gamblers. It might be a good time to take some of your earmarked Lotto money and stick it into BOS stock if it ever trades again (currently suspended by the London Stock Exchange).
Not My Job! This is another holey statement: a study found no evidence that immigrants have taken a large number of jobs from Americans. First of all, define immigrants. Second of all, why did we need a study? If eleven million illegal immigrants have jobs, then illegal immigrants have taken eleven million jobs from Americans. Is that difficult?
Saks Butts Goat Out The Door Cashmere is out, everything else is in, according to Saks, the first name in retailing in the entire universe. Last year Saks had all its bets on the goat wool, and customers balked. Cashmere lined boxing gloves and cashmere skipping ropes apparently didn't sell. Nor did cashmere anything else, at least not enough to keep the happy sounding cash bells ringing. So this year, you Want It, they got it, or so they'd have you believe. Say what you want, it's still the only joint on Fifth Avenue that has a doggie bidet.
Glaxco's Zofran Nausea Drug Causes More Than A Little Nausea Like $70 million worth, the amount Glaxco agreed to pay to settle civil lawsuits accusing it of inflating costs of several medicines, including blockbuster Zofran, this on top of $130 million for ripping of federal health care programs. Glaxco, I'm sure sensing the foul taste of bile rising in its throat, did not admit to wrongdoing, saying similar charges have been filed against many other pharmaceutical companies, like that makes it OK. Pardon me while I puke.
A Billion Bucks For Movie Rentals? Surely This Is A New Pixar Movie. Sadly no, it's true. Movie Gallery (NASDAQ $2.59 – fifty-two week high $22.321), which borrowed more than $1 billion to acquire the Hollywood Video chain, posted an unexpected quarterly loss and hired an investment bank and turnaround specialists to help it revamp. I blame Movie Gallery for saying it had an unexpected loss because anyone who knows what's going on in the movie rental world should only be talking about expected losses, but curiouser, what dummies put up the billion?
Middle East – North Canada's energy exports have buoyed its US trade surplus over the past five years. Canada has the largest pool of oil reserves outside the Middle East, companies are spending billions on pipelines pointed south, and the US is searching for Betsy Ross's great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great granddaughter or anyone else who can sew (likely an illegal immigrant since Americans don't do that kind of work any more) to tack another star on Old Glory. A word, Oh Canada: stay alert for a bald-headed madman and an angry black woman with a dummy.
A Final Word Keep the whole terrorist thing in perspective. For whatever reason or reasons, we've got enemies, but they aren't going to win.
Am Not! Are Too! A sandbox squabble? Not quite, but Atmel (NASDAQ $5.24) has a squabble of its own going on. Sometime last fall, when Chairman and CEO George Perlegos got fired by his five independent directors, he said something to the effect that you can't fire me because I already fired you. If you happen to be in Delaware next month, you might want to sit in as the trial gets underway. Maybe the judge will jump up and yell, "And so's your old man."
What's Wrong With This Statement? "David Einhorn, a hedge fund manager, does not play much poker…" By definition, hedge fund managers bet billions every day. Perhaps when Einhorn entered the World Series of Poker in Las Vegas, no one should have been surprised. P.S. He came in 18th and won $650,000. Will he surprise his hedge fund clients share by handing over his winnings?
You Got To Know When To Hold 'Em, Know When To Fold Em… Offshore BetOnSports, buffeted by US charges of illegal Internet gambling, decides to fold, with its ex CEO in jail in St. Louis and the Feds looking around to grab anyone else they can get their hands on. Looks like BOS will take its game to Asia where presumably what they do isn't deemed to be illegal and there are probably a couple billion more gamblers. It might be a good time to take some of your earmarked Lotto money and stick it into BOS stock if it ever trades again (currently suspended by the London Stock Exchange).
Not My Job! This is another holey statement: a study found no evidence that immigrants have taken a large number of jobs from Americans. First of all, define immigrants. Second of all, why did we need a study? If eleven million illegal immigrants have jobs, then illegal immigrants have taken eleven million jobs from Americans. Is that difficult?
Saks Butts Goat Out The Door Cashmere is out, everything else is in, according to Saks, the first name in retailing in the entire universe. Last year Saks had all its bets on the goat wool, and customers balked. Cashmere lined boxing gloves and cashmere skipping ropes apparently didn't sell. Nor did cashmere anything else, at least not enough to keep the happy sounding cash bells ringing. So this year, you Want It, they got it, or so they'd have you believe. Say what you want, it's still the only joint on Fifth Avenue that has a doggie bidet.
Glaxco's Zofran Nausea Drug Causes More Than A Little Nausea Like $70 million worth, the amount Glaxco agreed to pay to settle civil lawsuits accusing it of inflating costs of several medicines, including blockbuster Zofran, this on top of $130 million for ripping of federal health care programs. Glaxco, I'm sure sensing the foul taste of bile rising in its throat, did not admit to wrongdoing, saying similar charges have been filed against many other pharmaceutical companies, like that makes it OK. Pardon me while I puke.
A Billion Bucks For Movie Rentals? Surely This Is A New Pixar Movie. Sadly no, it's true. Movie Gallery (NASDAQ $2.59 – fifty-two week high $22.321), which borrowed more than $1 billion to acquire the Hollywood Video chain, posted an unexpected quarterly loss and hired an investment bank and turnaround specialists to help it revamp. I blame Movie Gallery for saying it had an unexpected loss because anyone who knows what's going on in the movie rental world should only be talking about expected losses, but curiouser, what dummies put up the billion?
Middle East – North Canada's energy exports have buoyed its US trade surplus over the past five years. Canada has the largest pool of oil reserves outside the Middle East, companies are spending billions on pipelines pointed south, and the US is searching for Betsy Ross's great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great granddaughter or anyone else who can sew (likely an illegal immigrant since Americans don't do that kind of work any more) to tack another star on Old Glory. A word, Oh Canada: stay alert for a bald-headed madman and an angry black woman with a dummy.
A Final Word Keep the whole terrorist thing in perspective. For whatever reason or reasons, we've got enemies, but they aren't going to win.
Friday, August 04, 2006
Grasso Soap Opera - Continues! I haven't written this blog for several months, but I'm thrilled to see cue ball Dickie is still hogging headlines. Why is this pox on our house so difficult to eradicate? Here's the question: was the $200 million for his last four years equitable? Here's the answer: not in two hundred million years. On to next story.
Hillary Kicks Ass! No wonder Rumsfeld didn't want to appear before the Senate. After Hillary scarred and bloodied him with snick and snee thrusting she got out the big cleaver for the piece de resistance: “Yes, we hear a lot of happy talk and rosy scenarios, but because of the administration’s strategic blunders and, frankly, the record of incompetence in executing, you are presiding over a failed policy. Given your track record, Secretary Rumsfeld, why should we believe your assurances now?” Help! Help! Medic! Medic!
Anti-Concurrent Causation Clause? Quick, have you got one? Don't know the answer? Have you got homeowners insurance? Then you probably have an anti-concurrent causation clause, and it's not a good thing. Here's the deal: you insure for wind damage, the wind blows your house down, but at the same time (concurrent causation in insurance mumbo-jumbo) you also get flooded and buried in mud (risks insurance companies won't cover); NOTHING IS COVERED; NADA, ZIP. It's a bit like having an anti-concurrent pregnancy clause that says if you get pregnant as a result of having sex, you're not covered. CHECK YOUR POLICY. Know your coverage. It might not be fixable, but at least you won't get blindsided.
Wyly, Pretty Darn Wyly It seems billionaire brothers Sam and Charles of the wily Wyly Texas clan have been shtupping Uncle Sam by dumping boatloads of options in offshore trusts that then cashing them without all that nastiness of paying hundreds of millions in federal taxes. The brothers two were invited to testify but said they'd plead the Fifth, you know, that provision of the US Constitution designed to protect criminals.
And Speaking of Wily – Those pesky Republicans tried to saddle the minimum wage increase bill with a tax cut for the rich, but the Dems, who don't want the Republicans riding off into election year sunset on shiny saddles, said bareback boys, or not at all. So far, the working poor aren't getting their much needed raise.
Castro Convertibles? So 79 year-old Fidel is out, temporarily according to the official Cuban line, dead according to some Washington and Miami hopefuls, and 75 year-old Raoul is in. What is this? A CBS reality show?
Quack! Quack! The Sound of Paradox? Now read this carefully: Wealthy campaign donors in New York are legally using limited liability corporations to illegally give money above the maximum allowed by law.
Advertising Industry Dead? Concern is seeping noisily (hey, we are talking advertising here; what did you expect? Silence?) into the media that Internet amateurs will replace professional ad people. Stupid me. I thought that had happened years ago.
You Got Mail, er, Pink Slip! The good folks at AOL are axing another 5,000 jobs, 25% of their current workforce. That only leaves 15,000 still sucking blood from this dying body.
Cuban Missiles? Question: If Cuba has missiles capable of reaching the US, wouldn't fleeing Cubans settle a lot further north, like Canada, than in Miami and environs, only 90 miles distant? Well yeah, I suppose there is the winter climate thing.
Hillary Kicks Ass! No wonder Rumsfeld didn't want to appear before the Senate. After Hillary scarred and bloodied him with snick and snee thrusting she got out the big cleaver for the piece de resistance: “Yes, we hear a lot of happy talk and rosy scenarios, but because of the administration’s strategic blunders and, frankly, the record of incompetence in executing, you are presiding over a failed policy. Given your track record, Secretary Rumsfeld, why should we believe your assurances now?” Help! Help! Medic! Medic!
Anti-Concurrent Causation Clause? Quick, have you got one? Don't know the answer? Have you got homeowners insurance? Then you probably have an anti-concurrent causation clause, and it's not a good thing. Here's the deal: you insure for wind damage, the wind blows your house down, but at the same time (concurrent causation in insurance mumbo-jumbo) you also get flooded and buried in mud (risks insurance companies won't cover); NOTHING IS COVERED; NADA, ZIP. It's a bit like having an anti-concurrent pregnancy clause that says if you get pregnant as a result of having sex, you're not covered. CHECK YOUR POLICY. Know your coverage. It might not be fixable, but at least you won't get blindsided.
Wyly, Pretty Darn Wyly It seems billionaire brothers Sam and Charles of the wily Wyly Texas clan have been shtupping Uncle Sam by dumping boatloads of options in offshore trusts that then cashing them without all that nastiness of paying hundreds of millions in federal taxes. The brothers two were invited to testify but said they'd plead the Fifth, you know, that provision of the US Constitution designed to protect criminals.
And Speaking of Wily – Those pesky Republicans tried to saddle the minimum wage increase bill with a tax cut for the rich, but the Dems, who don't want the Republicans riding off into election year sunset on shiny saddles, said bareback boys, or not at all. So far, the working poor aren't getting their much needed raise.
Castro Convertibles? So 79 year-old Fidel is out, temporarily according to the official Cuban line, dead according to some Washington and Miami hopefuls, and 75 year-old Raoul is in. What is this? A CBS reality show?
Quack! Quack! The Sound of Paradox? Now read this carefully: Wealthy campaign donors in New York are legally using limited liability corporations to illegally give money above the maximum allowed by law.
Advertising Industry Dead? Concern is seeping noisily (hey, we are talking advertising here; what did you expect? Silence?) into the media that Internet amateurs will replace professional ad people. Stupid me. I thought that had happened years ago.
You Got Mail, er, Pink Slip! The good folks at AOL are axing another 5,000 jobs, 25% of their current workforce. That only leaves 15,000 still sucking blood from this dying body.
Cuban Missiles? Question: If Cuba has missiles capable of reaching the US, wouldn't fleeing Cubans settle a lot further north, like Canada, than in Miami and environs, only 90 miles distant? Well yeah, I suppose there is the winter climate thing.
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