Hastert Doomed? W appeared on TV with Denny and told him he was doing a good job. Well actually, among other things, he said, “This country is better off with Denny Hastert as the speaker.” Remember when W appeared with Brownie of FEMA and told him he was doing a heck of a job while New Orleans sank from view? Brownie's subsequent demise was quick and painful, as it should have been. So long Denny. You’re next.

Kim-Boom! With North Korea detonating a nuclear bomb that though seeming to have fallen far short of the ten to twenty kilotons first reported to something less than one kiloton, it got the world’s attention. Condi says we won’t go to war (did I miss the part where we put her in charge) and W is pissed because he still can’t pronounce nuclear and Darth Dick phoned Halliburton to check on its troop strength. Height challenged Kim Jong-il, North Korea’s dictator, lashed out at the world for pooh-poohing his little bomb and said size doesn’t matter (Yeah right! Ladies, where have you heard that one before).

Yougle or Suegle? So Google scoops up You Tube, a collection of home videos produced by a demographic that I put at fifteen, plus or minus a couple of years. Some are quite entertaining; we’ve all seen them attached to emails from our jokester lists; others are pure crap; others are ripped off from copyrighted sources like movie studios, and therein lies the problem. Movie companies that invest tens of million of dollars to make movies aren’t about to let Google and its you-tubers freely disseminate their creations…so they plan to sue Google (Google has deep pockets – You Tube was a start up so going after it and winning would have been a Pyrrhic victory). Movie moguls are also going after individual you-tubers much like the record companies did when Napster ticked off the music guys so be prepared for the FBI to come knocking in the middle of a dark and stormy night. P.S. Google paid $1.65 billion in Google stock; if you’re a Google stockholder, that’s your money.

Third Time Lucky? Cendant shareholders hope not, at least in this case. Ex-CEO, Walter Forbes, facing his third fraud trial for leading a scheme to inflate CUC’s income by $252 million prior to its 1997 merger with HFS. The prosecutor says Forbes lied about everything to everyone and lined his pockets with tens of millions of dollars. It is interesting that this was one of the largest accounting frauds of the 1990s because $252 million seems paltry, almost like pocket change given the billion dollar frauds of more recent times. Forbes’s first two dances with justice ended in mistrials after jurors spent a combined sixty days without reaching a decision.

Peeuwlet Packard? Hold your nose. Now it seems that in addition to directors and executives spying on one another and generally doing the nasty, there are reports of selling stock in advance of detrimental press releases. Shareholders need to clean house at this once highly respected corporation by replacing every board member and all executive management or this sucker will bleed to death.

Corporate Crooks
1. Cheaters and Crooks Safeguarding your Computer? McAfee, the computer virus protector, is among a growing list of companies caught up in this practice likened to betting on a horse race after the race is over. McAfee’s CEO retired, which I hope is a euphemism for booting his butt out the door.

Similarly, CNet’s CEO resigned. Like McAfee, millions of individual computer users look to CNet for trusted data on a host of software and hardware issues. Or at least we used to. How can we trust companies run by cheaters and crooks?

In all, about 120 companies are under government scrutiny or have launched internal investigations into options backdating. The FBI is vigorously inspecting the books of fifty-five of these; two have received criminal indictments.


2. Internet Fraud: The former CEO of Homestore Inc., an online home listing service, is to get fifteen years in the slammer for directing a $67 million fraud against the company, unless his attorney can pull a rabbit from the hat.

Does anyone remember the date that all the crooks started working for corporations?

Torre-ific! Hey, give me a break. I’m a Yankee fan, and I’m glad Joe’s coming back.

Nay Ney! Republican congressman Bob Ney from Ohio pleaded guilty to accepting bribes from Washington’s most hated lobbyist Black Jack Abramhoff in return for giving Jack’s clients what they wanted. BUT GET THIS CHUTZPAH, Ney said he would resign within the next few weeks. What? He’s got more favors to do before he leaves? Throw the bum out. He doesn’t deserve another day pretending to be a leader.

That’s all for this week, my friends. Stay alert; don’t get uh, twisted!