Bank It Like Beckham Soccer phenom, David Beckham, is off to La La Land where he will play for the Los Angeles Galaxy for five years and be paid $250 million. Also looking forward to the bright lights of Hollywood is Posh Spice of Spice Girls fame, aka Victoria Beckham. Look to see and wear and hear a lot of David and Victoria, touted as the new Hollywood Power Couple.

ET, iPhone Home Apple’s Steve Jobs this week blessed the world with iPhone. Jobs is the world’s greatest pitchman, but can he pitch this $500 baby to the millions of iPodders he’s made believe he daily hangs the moon. Me, I still like the telePhone.

Score Card – Progress Iraq:.More troops. Bush calls it a surge. Iraqis call it an intrusion. Bush says America will face a disaster without victory. How does he define disaster? What is his definition of victory? Here are a couple of ideas: Disaster – each day America stays in Iraq; Victory – the day all American troops come home. These definitions belong in all Iraqi and American minds and dictionaries.

100 Hours: Alas, Democrats have shown nothing in the first 100 hours unless it is that they will continue to disappoint. They have no Iraq policy; they won’t make retroactive rescission of benefits paid to former cronies found guilty of felons, and they don’t know how to tell time. Kudos though for approving a minimum wage increase to $7.25 per hour even though phased in over two years. Now it goes to the Senate where it will likely have a phalanx of tax breaks attached so businesses can afford to pay their new high-priced help. Say what you like; this is getting out of hand; it’s only been ten years since the last minimum wage increase pushed the greed of these people to the whopping sum of $5.15 per hour, or an astounding $10,300 per year.

Fly Me, I’m Solvent No standing ovations yet, but the airlines are leaving the funeral homes, pushing back the gray clouds of doom, and beginning to see blue skies and sunshine. Ah, but will we ever again get the good pretzels?

Apres Ski She, Nyet! Russian billionaire, Mikhail Prokhorov, with personal wealth of $6.4 billion and considered one of Russia’s most eligible bachelors (with $6.4 billion I think he could be considered one of the world’s most eligible) was detained in the French Alps, at an upscale ski resort used by rich and powerful Russians, for offering more than chalets supplied with such mundane creature comforts like spas, private pools, and steam baths. Oooh, those Russian massages. Prokhorov denies pimping. Sour grapes in the Politburo?

Are Jong and Ahmadinejad Pissed? Are North Korea and Iran leaders refusing to meet with Bush and proposing UN sanctions against the US for wanting to test a nuclear bomb in Nevada.

No Smoking! After Democrats banned smoking inside the House. speaker, Nancy Pelosi, declared ,“The days of smoke-filled rooms in the United States Capitol are over.” Now if they could only find a way to dispel the gas.

2008 Presidential Election Handicap * DECLARED CANDIDATES – DECLARATION DATE ORDER Ranking Name Party 2 Dodd, Christopher - Democratic member of the U.S. Senate – declared 1/11/07 on Imus in the Morning.” D 3 Edwards, John – Former Senator, North Carolina, and VP candidate– declared 12/27/06 in New Orleans, LA D 2 Kucinich, Dennis John - Democratic member of the U. S. House of Representatives – declared 12/12/06 in Cleveland D 2 Vilsack, Tom – Governor, Iowa – declared 11/30/06 in Mount Pleasant, IA D 2 Hunter, Duncan - Republican member of the U. S. House of Representatives – declared 10/30/06 in San Diego, CA R EXPLORATORY CANDIDATES Ranking Name Party 5 Clinton , Hillary Rodham – Senator, New York D 5 Obama, Barack – Senator, Illinois D 3 Biden, Joe – Senator, Pennsylvania D 3 Richardson, Bill – Governor, New Mexico D 4 McCain, John - Senator, Arizona R 4 Romney, Mitt - Former Governor, Massachusetts R 2 Brownback, Sam – Senator, Kansas R 2 Gilmore, James S. - Former Governor. Virginia R 2 Gingrich, Newt - Former House Speaker, Georgia R 2 Giuliani, Rudy - Former NYC Mayor R 2 Paul, Ron – Congressman, Texas R 2 Rice, Condoleeza - Secretary of State R 2 Thompson, Tommy – Former Governor, Wisconsin R 1 Pataki, George – Former Governor, New York R . 1 Fuhgeddaboudit! - 10 Start Debating! Note: These rankings have nothing to do with official polls or rankings. They are mine and mine alone.

That’s all for this week, my friends. God speed and safe home for ALL troops!