United We Fall Where will United Airlines be a year from now? Management is trying to cut costs by reducing employee benefits including termination of its pension plans and unions are threatening to strike. Wake up people—this is another airline drama like Eastern and Pan Am that’s got ‘The End’ written all over it.
Pig Power Rummy, that dastardly deed doer, that bespectacled defense department denizen who eats small countries with his Wheaties, caved in to congressional porkers, backing down from plans to terminate the C-130J transport, a Lockheed Martin piece of junk that according to those friendly folks at the Pentagon has so many flaws it hasn’t been cleared for combat.
Saks of Cash Apparently a handful of hooligans including the CEO’s kid brother, all of whom work for that famous retailer on the Avenue, Fifth Avenue, where photographers will snap you and you’ll find that you’re in rotogravure, has been nicking the knickers of Saks suppliers by snipping big bucks from invoices and doing some heavy-duty pocket lining. Kinda wilts the lilies on your Easter bonnet, don’t it.
Hold The Pickle So the finger in the chili was a hoax and Wendy’s is giving away free milkshakes to lure its digitally challenged chili chompers back into the fold. Wouldn’t it have been a better idea to give away something less lumpy, like clear broth without carrots?
You Vilifying Me Big tobacco is smokin’ over hard hitting ads they say are vilifying. Let’s recap: they kill millions of Americans with a product they know is carcinogenic; they pay a quarter of a trillion (yes, that’s the big T) greenbacks for medical mission work, whatever that is; they get their asses sued by countless others, and they’re worried about vilifying ads?
Mickey Louse Roy (Walt’s nephew) and his constant companion, Stanley Gold, are again suing the house of mouse (when haven’t they), this time to get rid of CEO-to-be Iger four months before he takes over from Eisner. Departing CEO Eisner and Goofy might be the only ones smiling.
Red Alert! Green Confidence! Where were you while Bush biked and Cheney cut and run and Washington fought the war of the Cessna? And just why did everyone get out of Dodge when that killing machine of a two-seater prop job chugged into hallowed space at 100 m.p.h.? They can’t have much confidence in Homeland Security and the multi-billions they spent on making sure we, the people, are safe.