Once again Deep Throat has reared his ugly voice and re-enters our consciousness. He’s now very ill, at least according to John Dean, Nixon’s former White House counsel. Remember, if Deep Throat dies, Bob Woodward has said he will tell all, so wash off your Watergate brain cells—it’s time for the guessing game to start afresh. WHO IS DEEP THROAT?
Is Social Security the WMD of Bush’s second term? What’s going on? What can Cheney, Rummy, Wolfie, and Condoleezza with two z’s, the dove dream team, be scheming while sending Dubya out to leave us to fretting about our retirement. War in Iran, anyone?
While the Democrats might be guilty of dumping all over the President’s budget, the Republicans are at least guilty of using it as toilet paper. Here’s how I see it: one giant step for the rich, one small step for the disappearing middle-class, one large finger for the poor.
Heather Ross, founder of Munki, Munki, a clothing company, has come out with a line of women’s panties with imbedded cartoon-like olfactory patches that, when scratched, will emit a favorite guy scent. So far she’s got handy man (cedar), BBQ guy (tangy sauce), mower man (grass – the fresh cut variety), couch potato (popcorn), carnie (cotton candy), and surfer (suntan lotion). Hard to know what scent she might come up with when she gets to lawyers and politicians—Chunki Munki?
Do we really want Bin Laden and al Zarqawi thinking they’re worth $50 million? Not according to Thomas L. Friedman of the New York Times who says Bin Laden should be marked down to one penny and an autographed picture of George Bush and al Zarqawi should be marked down to a pistachio and autographed picture of Cheney. Why waste the penny and the pistachio?
I’m so dumb. I thought Million Dollar Baby was one of the best movies I’d ever seen, but thanks to the good people who want to wring the queerness out of SpongeBob, I now realize that Clint Eastwood was really trying to trick us into embracing euthanasia.