Blind People, Half Price Knowledge News this week reported that the BBC lets seniors view its programming free, but charges blind people half-price.
Stop, You’ll Go Blind Speaking of blind people, remember what your mother told you not to do or you’d go blind? Well it turns out she may have been at least partially correct—there are reports circulating that Viagra, Bob Dole’s pill of choice, causes blindness in some users. On second thought, maybe it wasn't the pill; maybe they were, you know…doing what their mothers told them not to.
Seeing Stars The New York Times reported that Canadian astronomers—at least according to the Institute for Scientific Information in Philadelphia, whatever that is—deliver more scientific bang for the buck. This is surprising? Canada is dark. There is not hockey. It has long winters. It has few people. It has a big sky filled with, as Carl Sagan would have said, billions and billions of stars.
Empty Keys Ruth Laredo, that grand dame of the keyboard, died this week. Pianos around the world shall miss her touch, Rachmaninoff will need to find a new soul, and listeners everywhere shall miss her incomparable banquet.
Eat Me In her sexiest role yet, Paris Hilton gets her licks in on a Carl Jr. burger. Make mine rare, and who said the advertising industry couldn’t be original? Wonder what they’ll come up with for the lowly frank.
What’s That on Your Nipple Don’t like airport security’s hands hovering near your privates? Don’t worry. If Homeland Security, the color code people have their way with their new scanners, they’ll be able to see every last crook and nanny, including nipple and other less visible adornments,
Pssst! Wanna buy a Bolex? The second or third oldest profession, hawking phony goods on the sidewalks of New York, is in full swing. No name tag? No problem—for five bucks extra, the handbag becomes a Kate Spade. Don’t want the girlfriend to think you’re a cheap bastard? Here, drop this bunko price tag inside where she’ll be sure to find it.
Shop Suey Been to the world’s largest shopping mall? Been to seven of the ten larges shopping malls in the world. Ah so. By 2010, China will ray craim to both titles.